- [paper shredder running] [dog barking]

Every time, that's up over here on the wall. That I come over and look at every once in a while. It's time to, just go ahead and let go and it's good to let go sometimes. There's a couple of them in here. And we'll get rid of that one too. I don't want to be reminded of, of the long hair and what have you, so I thought I'd just go ahead and end the era, running that through the shredder right here and getting rid of it. [phone ringing]

You have reached Sharon Wenzel.

Hi, it's Mark calling from Milwaukee. Listen, I'm just calling you, I know I haven't talked, we haven't spoken in a while, and I just wanted to leave a message, and just wanted to let you know my, saga is over.

Many of you really don't know much about Mark, you just know Mark as the tall guy in the church, and uh, and uh, got saved in college, and I'll let him share that with you but God's taken him down a very, I should say, he has gone down a very interesting road. And God has picked him up and set his feet back onto solid rock. How you doing, Mark?

Well, sir.

Did you enjoy the services today?

I did.

Good. It's good to see you.

My name's Mark Wenzel, I'm a giant among men, a guy you gotta really look up at. A real spiritual giant. And I'd like to introduce you to my wife, please stand up please. This is Missus Sharon, and we're with the Children's Gospel Club of Greeneville, South Carolina. You say he doesn't know much about me. Well, I'm an old-fashioned, independent, fundamental, pre-millennial, temperamental, Baptist preacher, and just love God and the King James version of the Bible. Praise the Lord, you're going to heaven. Had one here earlier, but I don't know where it went. All right, "Markie in Milwaukee," no more secrets, the introduction. Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets. I'm writing this book for my children and my grandchildren, so they will have an accurate accounting of my life. I wouldn't want them to know the truth about my life and why my life had to be the way it was.

How are you Mary?

Hi Markie.

Lindsay, how are you?

I'm doing pretty well. Nice to see you.

Thank you, it's good to see you.

You've been behaving yourself?

Behaving? I try. Thank you.

Only got your first name.

That's okay, it's all we actually need.

Yeah.

How many names does one person need anyway?

One. [group applauding] Happy coming out day.

You too.

I started thinking this afternoon about all the different times that I've had the opportunity to come out being me. This is basically my outline, I'm not gonna read it to you, but it is really important that I do speak from my heart tonight in for short time I have available, and just wanna tell you right now that, my-- Good to have you. My relationship with almighty God is the cornerstone of my life through Jesus Christ. If I did not have that relationship none of this other stuff in my life makes any sense and I couldn't have gone forward, especially through transition as difficult as it was. I'll say this, that for me it was absolutely 100% needful, and it was a life and death proposition, that's where I'll stand, but I'll tell you this much, I'm here so I chose life. [soft orchestral music] ♪ Oh, what a time will be ♪ ♪ When we see loved ones there ♪ ♪ Those who have gone before ♪ ♪ Eternal joys to share ♪ ♪ Oh what a song ♪ ♪ Oh what a song ♪ ♪ When the blood washed throng ♪ ♪ Starts singing a song the angels cannot sing ♪ ♪ Oh, what a moment ♪ ♪ When we see Jesus ♪ ♪ When we stand face to face in His embrace ♪ ♪ And thank Him for amazing grace ♪ ♪ Oh what a moment ♪ ♪ When we see Him ♪

Okay, welcome to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. What an absolutely gorgeous morning. Well hi, here I am. And just wanted to say, we keep going forward, keep growing, lots of goals and objectives to be obtained in the course of the next year or so. Hi I'm Markie Anna, I'm a transgendered woman. I'm a woman trapped in the wrong body. Gender Identity Disorder is a disorder that usually is realized in early childhood. In fact one is born with it. There was an increased desire to change the physical appearance of my whole body. Hormonal treatment has begun, and a gender reassignment surgery is being sought. Man can run for year after year until he realizes that he is running from himself. And he's got to turn, and fight, and hold his head high and walk tall even as he transitions and becomes physically and legally female.

Hello and welcome. Highlight the different categories then press the okay button. Here we go. Five four three two one.

Recently one of my favorite people, one of my heroes, passed away. Her name was Sandy Allen, and she was the world's tallest woman. The Guinness Museum of World Records is proud to present a special live appearance with Sandy Allen, the worlds tallest woman!

I'm very proud of my size, I'm different. I'm seven feet seven and a quarter inches tall and I'm proud of every inch of it.

In her earlier years she'd travel and speak to children in schools. And one of her main themes was, that it's okay to be different.

You shouldn't make fun of other people that are different, because, they have feelings too.

So most of my life, or all of my life, I have, I have been tall and I have been larger, and quite a few issues with people that can't accept that. I was interested, and was always interested in the opportunity to chronicle my progress. And what I'd looked like at any given point. And, that's where we started, on a public basis. However sometimes we looked beautiful. And those must have been recent as opposed to the other, and there's a major difference there as far as facial structures, and color and hairstyle. Now some of these little ones, these snapshots from the things in the mall, those machines. Didn't have any other way to do it, just to note the changes. Various Wigs, various looks, various glasses. And this one, this one's Merry Christmas was right after my separation. And again this is a lot of stuff just to keep me going, and to have my head catch up with my heart. This picture right here, is of me, in one of my last appearances as the Incredible Hulk. Yes indeed, change can happen, and even the most dreadful monster, such as the Green Hulk, can change into the most delicate flower. This says, "Family Christmas," but I'm not sure what it is. That's my daughter right there, Christina. And to be honest with you, I really don't think I've ever seen this stuff before, or even had the opportunity to plug it in and watch. That's me. And my sister and my mother. And that's my kid Daniel.

Do you, do you have any plans to try to reconnect with your kids?

What I'd really love to do is one day for that to happen. That is my intention. Now that were sitting in my office, and we're safe, and got an understanding of what's going on here and so forth, and I feel real comfortable. I'd really like that, especially as we get on in years, they are at this point, 20 and 19, and 17. The youngest just turned 17 on Saturday. Getting to the point where, going to college, getting to the point, working. The oldest has had a steady girlfriend, I'm not sure if that relationship is still ongoing. However, that's been going on for a while. Maybe they get married, and the next thing you know, they start having children. I'd love to be a grandparent, be a part of that process. And maybe one day, maybe one day it would be possible. I'd like that. And they took off out of here on June the, believe it was the 6th of 2005. I haven't seen them since, except last summer when we went to do our legal separation in Plymouth, Massachusetts. When I was living here it was my mother and father, my brother and my sister. I was the oldest, and it was really difficult for me due to the fact that I was so large and had the neighborhood school bullies and what have you, and kinda messed with my psyche. The first consciousness I had of Markie in my childhood was when I was eight years old. I was in and out, getting caught and punished for being in my mothers clothing. And at age 15, reading an article one day about somebody by the name of Doctor Renee Richards.

Renee Richards, the female tennis player, who used to be a male, said she will appeal the US Tennis Association ruling that she has to take a chromosome test before playing in the US Open.

Who went through a transition and surgery. And knowing right then and there at that particular time that that's what I needed to do, but had absolutely no idea how to do it. Remember this was back in the mid 70's when none of this was acceptable.

I think that what they are afraid of is the unknown. I think that, if they were to meet me and know that I'm not a two headed person, they'd be less fearful of it.

I got scared. And so, went into this jock mode. Learned how to wrestle, and learned how to lift weights, and football player. On occasion, Markie kept surfacing. After my Grandmother had died and I was able to get a stash of her clothing, be able to bring it home, and do my thing with that. And one day, and I wasn't expecting my friend to show up and he wound up showing up and walking in, and I was dressed, and that was about the end of that. I talked to a psychiatrist, a doctor what have you, and he said, "what do you want to do about this?" And I said, "well I want to fight it. "I want to get rid of this. "I don't want this to be happening to me." If Markie's not acceptable, how could I live my life in such a way to get rid of that and go down the path of righteousness, and be Mark and be the best Mark I could possibly be. I was looking for a solution to cut it off and be done with it. And that was it, until somebody opened a Bible one day and showed me about Jesus Christ. 9:45 at Night, University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh, Scott Hall Basement. Bowed my head that day, I can't remember the prayer but I remember being in tears. Can you imagine that a seven foot, 360 pound, defensive lineman football player sitting in a meeting like that, bawling his eyeballs out, and asking Christ to save him? That's what happened, and that day, He saved me, He got me. God got a hold of my heart that night, I knew I was a sinner, there was no running away from it that night. But I had to pay the penalty for my sins somehow. ♪ Bless my soul was estranged ♪

But I found out the ways of Jesus Christ and the Bible, are ways of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, and righteousness, the ways to do right as opposed to doing wrong. To avoid all the bad stuff that can happen, and we go the other way. They say, Mister Mark why in the world do you do it? Why in the world do you work with children, and yell and kick and scream and spit in the way you do, to our 2 year olds in Sunday school, and Bible clubs and everything else? Because if you get them at a young age, you have more of an opportunity to bring them up in the Lord, then if you do if you try and go get them as a teenager, or as a young adult. By that time the die is cast, the concrete, its concrete in the way they want to go. If you don't know Jesus Christ as savior, you'll be in hell, absent from the body, present in hell, in hellfire forever.

There always seemed to be somewhat of a struggle. And, I think that, as we look back, that he was struggling with some things going on inside of him, that he didn't understand. It affected his marriage, and of course it affected his future.

I was going to work, and was trying to make the living, and trying to be the preacher and everything else I was doing, and came across one of Sharon's dresses that was packed away in a box or something. I'm not sure where she was, and, picked it up and all of a sudden click, it started all over again. Thinking, where in the world did this come from? Is this something the devil's thrown at me just to trip me up, and destroy my ministry and destroy me? All the gay, lesbian, and trans stuff all being wrong and wicked and all the other stuff, until it happened to me. Dear Jesus, please forgive me for being a sinner. How do I get rid of this? Do I need to go ahead have more kids, have more sex, serve the lord more, get on the road and travel, be the conquering preacher, and be really really holy and righteous? I did not choose this and that's the very frustrating part. There was never a day when I didn't desire, to be living in the female gender, on a full time basis. The fact of the matter is, most of my stuff, most of my clothes and everything else were in the trunk of an automobile. And this automobile that I had at the time broke down. And to get rid of the car, I had to do something with the belongings that were in the back. So I decided rather than to pitch it, I'd take it in the house and put it in the basement, thinking nobody would ever go down there. Well my kid went down and found it when I wasn't around. And everything started to fall apart from there.

As things were happening, and things were being found out, his wife was seeking help, in regards to how do I deal with this, what can I do?

And so she got lined up with the preacher, and it became where they wanted to go ahead and shame me. Try to shame me out of it.

When Mark decided he was going in a different direction, in regards to his, you want to call it his morality, his sexuality, he basically put his wife in a place and said, well, I'm done with you. We did not condone behavior that we believe is against scripture. God created men and God created women. And when somebody is born, they are born as a man, a boy. Or as a woman, a girl.

Markie came to us at the very early stages of public transitioning. And she, I believe had been a part of a trans support group and met someone there who suggested that this church might be a place where she could come and be herself.

Markie's been a member of Underwood Baptist in Wauwatosa since 2007. She came to Underwood after being dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, from her former fundamental church home in 2005 because of gender identity.

The challenge wasn't that Markie was a trans woman, it was that her theology was really different, and she would look at these people and they would hear one another and think, they're from a different planet.

Markie's been an evangelist, a missionary, a licensed fundamental preacher, and a Sunday school teacher.

We can use the text as a bludgeon, or as an agent of liberation. And if the results of our actions hurts more people and it breaks people down and it destroys families and it destroys human beings, I don't think that is the nature of God.

2006, after I had been dismissed from the fundamental church for being me, where they said Markie or Mark, at the time that was my name, "you're deceived." It's unnatural for anybody to want to be a woman. And, they wanted to put me through reparative therapy to beat it out of me. Right after they found my stuff in the basement, well, if this is real I need to turn it off, well I got married to turn it off, I had three kids to turn it off. I finally decided, well if they're gone I have this opportunity to know for absolute sure. Now, I had two problems, I'm seven feet tall, that's 400 pounds. And, very masculine. And people would say, well how can this be? Well it is. And I know if I don't deal with it I'm going to have to die or commit suicide 'cause I ain't happy. And I can't go on living in turmoil the rest of my life knowing this is going on inside. And the only fix for it is to fix the outside. This whole thing centers around a female mind, female emotions, and a female spirit. All centered inside a male's body. I keep thinking about you regularly, wondering how you are. Well thank you so very much for calling me on my birthday. Oh it already has been talking to you three. Well all right, it was a special treat, we'll be in touch. Have a great day, goodbye! That was breakthrough! That was extremely important. Because I have not heard from my daughter or my son or my ex for the last year. I mean, at least it's been two years. My son, got married in July. And his wife, they're expecting their first child, my first grandchild. But that reconnecting! That's, that's exciting. I made a comment at one of our group meetings the other night, talking about my oldest son Daniel, with the emails. In my reply, I went ahead and signed it, 'Dad.' And, anyway I can connect at this point, my identity, my transness, my femininity what have you, aside. If I can make a contact and be Dad even though I'm in the feminine mode and have transitioned, my God I'm gonna do it. We need to have this family happen, need to establish proper relationships, and clean up the mess that I've made, and so forth. And, so at the end, as soon as I wake up the moment after surgery, I don't have to think I've really screwed it up.

Hi, I'm Vanessa Fabre, and we're here at Be All in Chicago, the Midwest's largest transgender conference. And I'm here with Markie Wenzel, a five time attendant at our conference. What does it mean to you at this point in your life to now be somewhat of a mentor to other people?

It means quite a little bit, that means that, I've grown up, and I've matured to the point where I can be me, Markie Anna, publicly, and know that I have taken charge of my life and don't have to ask permission anymore to be me.

Sounds to me like you're what this conference is all about.

Well yes indeed, I'm the sum total. Well good morning! Welcome to a Friday morning in Wisconsin, in Jackson Park. Just finished my walk this morning, in good time. Just counting my blessings, and all the excellent things that have happened in my life over the course of the last year. There has been quite a few improvements. Quite a few things, quite a few people, have come and gone, to make me better.

Markie!

What a delightful group of Ladies, Larry, it's good to see you again. Did you retire on us?

Yeah, I retired in, uh.

That's what I figured.

February.

But I do have 19 years before I retire, so.

That's all right, look son don't rush it.

Okay.

Otherwise you'll be old, you don't wanna do that.

Okay, have a great evening, and a great picnic. Here we are at the TSA Picnic, The Transportation Security Administration, by whom I am employed.

Where'd you get those earrings?

A friend of mine gave them to me.

Oh, so you're a girl? Cool. Those are pretty earrings, and that's,

Well thank you!

What you're wearing right now is really pretty.

Well thank you. So nice of you to say that. Somebody even taller than I am!

Almost! Hi there, how ya doing?

I'm great! [balloon popping]

Hey hey hey!

Goin' over here to get some smiley face cookies, from Supermom's Fresh Baked Daily. Smile, you're on Matthew Camera.

It is good to be back in Milwaukee! [crowd cheering]

In the course of the last three days filming, you're actually getting a lot of what's in my heart, the way I operate, the way I think, and basically my soul. And what a beautiful scene this is to have this glare of the sun off the water. Oh my word! Maybe you should cut this up and we should make a tape out of it and send it around to dating places, and, so folks can, folks can watch that thing and see Markie and decide whether or not she's somebody they'd want to go out with, and or spend the rest of their lives with or what have you in a committed relationship. I'm a hard man to convince sometimes. Even when it comes to doing wrong. Or, if I got something to do and I decide to do it my way, and it happens to be not the right way and it winds up falling apart, and somebody says, "I told you you shouldn't a did it that way, "told you you shoulda did it some other way." I hear it on the job, and I hear it sometimes at home, "Mark I told ya." And even here at church sometimes, listen, preacher, "I told you you shoulda did it some other way. "The Bible says you shoulda did it some other way, "no doubt it fell apart on you. [muffled speaking]

He had sent some pictures, of him, dressed, as a woman, he sent me pictures of his long hair, just because he wanted to keep me updated. And, I didn't, that's not how I left Wisconsin. And I didn't want that to become what I remember of my dad. My family, like I said wasn't perfect, but we had a mom and a dad, and brothers, and you know we were doing our thing. And then for it to just abruptly change like that it was, it was very very hard. Because then I, then I felt bad for my dad too, at the same time. You know but, it was very, very very confusing. Because it was like well, if he loved us, why are we having to go through this sort of a thing? Because I didn't accept that, and that's just again, how I was raised. I don't know if maybe if I was ashamed in a way, like a factor that way? Like I didn't, I guess I didn't want to make it really real.

And my eldest, got involved in emailing back and forth, except he got very busy last February announcing that his wife, was gonna have their first child, so I became a grandmother on, I think it was the 28th of February. And as his life got crazy and went on and so forth, apparently, can't find the time to email back and forth, or read his mail or wanna connect. We really haven't had much contact after that.

And oh if I could go back and do it the right way, and fix it, then time is, the time runs out, and I gotta live with the consequences of my sin and my indiscretions and my not following the directions.

Communication has been very strained and silent, because I made the choice I made, and I did what I did, and now I'm here, and I'm alone, and I'm getting older, and could use some people around. To the point of wondering, well, whether or not we've come far enough and we should stop, or just stay where I'm at. And with the idea of stopping and going backwards, it would never be the same anyway, because people have all gone forward with their lives.

By the way, be not deceived, God is not mocked, for whatsoever man sows, that shall he also reap. And you reap in due time, sometimes right there on the spot, sometimes it comes up a little while down the road and sometimes way way way in the future.

I guess, all that said, dancing around, what is quitting, being done? To go ahead and just give up hope, and live a non-existent life just for the appeasement of other people, and try to make you look, try to make myself look normal and not actually be who I am. Giving up would be losing all hope. Well, we've done enough growing now, we've shot enough "Markie in Milwaukee" to know I don't quit. Get frustrated sometimes or a bit disillusioned, but that's life. Well I think the best part of me right now is, the ability never to give up and never to quit, and to keep going forward. Well happy Thanksgiving! I'm here, and I'm extending Happy Thanksgivings to everybody I can think of. My family who I have not seen in quite a little while. To my family members I just want to say I miss you, and hopefully we can get together soon in the near future. I'm thankful for the opportunity to be able to live my life, with who I am, and who I've become, it's a great privilege and I thank God for it. Have a great day, God bless.

People come to my office, and they're there for about 45 minutes. We do a history and physical. I describe the surgery, and I talk to them about how many times I'm going to have to inject them with a needle, I talk to them about the risk of bleeding and infection, and I make a big deal about it being permanent. Because up until, most of the people that are transitioning, even if they've had breast implants, or some facial surgeries, you know, this is totally irreversible. Remove their testicles. I can't put them back in.

It might be an oxymoron, but gender transition is not for sissies. This is tough business, and requires everything you have. I've come to the point to understand, that if, I cannot set a goal, and think, if I could get to this goal it would be all over for me. To have a nice, to have a nice little package with nice little wrapping paper, with a nice little ribbon, nice little bow, that I can put on a shelf someplace and finally be done. Ladies and gentleman, I'm here to tell you that there is no finish line. It's a continual growth process from the time you're born to the time you die. From the time you have surgery until the time you pass from this earth. He expects holiness from us, he wants us to be perfect in his word, he wants us to have our sins confessed, even when we get off the beaten path and do what we ought not to do. Say Mister Mark, don't you know God is Love, and I can live after I get saved anyway I want and I won't get punished? My friend if you've got a puny God like that I don't want him. Because my Bible says, "God is great, God is holy holy holy, "and God almighty cannot be loving apart from his holiness." He has to judge sin and he has to punish. [dark music]

He had actually called and scheduled a surgery the next week. And then, shortly there after that, he canceled it.

I was standing in the examination room, and he was examining and indicating, how he was gonna go ahead and perform what I'd asked, what I was asking for him to do. When all of a sudden I heard this voice from deep within my solar plexus saying, "Mark you're not gonna do this." And this is what I put online, its called, "I am ending my gender transition." It says, "a voice came to me from the deep in my soul, "saying, 'Don't do this thing.' "Even if you choose to go forward you'll always be a male. "And you will be more miserable after the procedure, "than you are currently. "Markie can't win." I realized it was over. And the voice was clearly the spirit of God. And I went from the ease of being a man into this, sort of, life where I was always fighting to try to make people believe that I was who I claimed to have been, and I really wasn't. And I was failing quite miserably. I had few friends, but I was generally tolerated and people were, for the most part, polite and accepting to my face. In truth I was alone and isolated. I had become no more than a caricature, the source of amusement for others. And to my doubters and skeptics, I'm not bowing to your pressure, nor is it a matter of confusion, but this is a clear matter of convictions of honor and good sense. And I'm acting on my own terms, as yielded and surrendered to the will of God for my life.

Nobody chooses to be that different. Did Mark, when he became Markie, choose to be that different? He's a big guy, he's not gonna make a great looking Markie. I think it's a tough choice. I think that if he chose to go back the other way, I think that's also a tough choice. And I, and my bet is he wrestles with that for years. And if religion helps him do that, and be safe and comfortable and happy within himself? Super, great, fine! Lets have all the religion in the world help him, and I hope it does.

Running from myself, and walking out on almighty God, led to gender transition, which led to corruption. But it was complete rebellion to God Almighty. First Corinthians talks about, "Does not mere nature tell you "that it's wrong for a man to have long hair?" Goes on about, "Men not wearing women's clothes "and women not wearing things that pertaineth to a man." My former fundamental church home, from seven, eight years ago prior to my transition. Because we left on such improper terms, just wanna go ahead and make peace with this particular preacher. A little bit apprehensive about doing this, but I know I need to. This is something I'm being directed to do, by the Lord himself.

And so we're, we're listening to this crowd, no listen. Oprah shouldn't be your source of truth. [laughing] By the way, neither should Rush Limbaugh. The word of God is the plumb line.

Sunday morning, knock came on that door, and Mark was standing there. Shocked me, the last person in the world I thought I was gonna see standing there. I came for that crowd that, that others had turned their backs on. I came for those that nobody else was interested in. When those decisions took everything that he did have, that meant something to him, away, then I think he began to realize, I don't think this is going to give me what I'm looking for. And I think that's why Mark felt he could walk through the doors, was I believe he knew I cared about him. I wonder who would join me and say, Pastor, Thank God I know I'm saved. I know if I died today I'd go to heaven based upon God's word, and I'm not ashamed that I am a child of God. If you have that settled in your heart, slip your hand up and say, I know I'm saved, I know I'm saved I'm not ashamed of that. Praise God all around this congregation.

We're gonna go ahead, and just eventually dump this stuff. We're gonna go ahead and just throw it in a box and get rid of it. Not even gonna go ahead and try to make any sense out of it, just make sure my, my current male stuff is not included in this. Gonna go ahead and call this particular portion 'The Purge.' Because usually when trans people get rid of their wardrobes and whatever for whatever reason, they just call it the purge and they just get rid of everything. Eyebrow plucking tips! Got some skorts, that I didn't really care for. This one's from earlier on. Three individual rings, I think they were 10 bucks a piece. Hair straighteners and curlers, we don't need those. This is femininity. At least try to look like a normal female would look. There she goes. [flushing] Hopefully that doesn't get into somebody's water supply and really mess somebody's estrogen levels up.

This is case number 13CD3114 For the name change of Markie Anna Wenzel. Can you state your name?

Markie Anna Wenzel.

You want to change your name from Marie to Mark? M-A-R-K? Correct?

Actually its Markie, M-A-R-K-I-E to Mark, yes sir.

M-A-R-K-I-E?

Right.

Your middle name is, is that A-N-N?

Yes, A-N-N-A.

And you want to change it to A-N, spell that for me.

T-H-O-N-Y.

Wenzel, W-E-N-Z-E-L?

Correct. I just ended our court session. I am now Mark Anthony Wenzel legally. The saga of "Markie in Milwaukee" is over. And now we've been pulled back from the brink and I'm on my journey home. Oh that didn't work. Live from the Milwaukee County Courthouse, it's Mark Wenzel.

And were you going to change your birth certificate right away?

Yes if I could do that. Actually tried to transition female, and that ended, but I never did have surgery. So that's the deal.

Oh Okay.

I still have you listed as female. You're putting down here male.

Correct.

How do I go back to male?

I don't know. I am obviously to look at me.

Well.

Well I understand, I understand completely. And it is the darnedest thing, however I'm trying to do right here and correct it to make it right.

Hello this is Jed in Milwaukee Southwest. Need some help, kinda sensitive. He was in the transgender program. No, he dropped out and he'd kinda like to reverse the gender back to his regular gender. If I have him sign that he dropped out of the program on that sheet, would that be good? Okay. I dropped out of the program and returning to my natural state or whatever.

Look at that picture.

Smile if you wish. Hold on until you see that flash. All right, very nice picture.

What's it look like?

Oh I already accepted it.

Oh you gotta be kidding me.

No.

Yeah she just died about 15 minutes ago.

No.

When she became Mark. She died about 15 minutes ago. Oh Mister Mark you've done it again. Hi Christina its Dad, how are you? Listen, I just got done at the court, and I'm now Mark Anthony Wenzel legally, and I thought I'd--

When I talked to him in the phone after that, he was talking about how he's turned a new leaf. I just knew that it was real, the documentation, everything that he had to go through was, was the real, like turning point of, you know. He needed to give it a finality, and I think that that's what it gave.

It all depends on what the Lord wants. And the way he's moving, there's nothing that would surprise me.

The transgender community is a small community.

Well absolutely, there's no question about that.

It's like, I work with people who are all in a small town and they know each other. I think that many may believe that this decision is really based on religion.

No it's, well, my relationship with God. Absolutely, it's not religion. When you're standing in the urologist's office, fully being examined in all of your glory, and you hear the voice, "Mark you're not gonna do this anymore. "And if you do, you're miserable now, "it's gonna be more miserable for you, "and beyond, "and without the opportunity for being corrected, "because of the permanence of the orchiectomy." That's a personal relationship with almighty God through the holy spirit of God, and I cannot back down for anybody who might be rebelling against that in their own lives. Or not having any idea of what that's all about. That's me, that's personal, that's down deep in my soul. Understand when this thing first happened in 2007, I walked out, I said no more. I don't want anything to do with this, with you, with church, fundamental Christianity, nothing. I, gave 7 years, everything I had, everything at work, put up with all the bullshit that I had to put up with to try to be what they wanted me to be. And what I knew that I was at the time. Lost my family over it, and virtually alone because of it. And then to have people think that I did this just because I was told by some fundamental church that I had to? Quite frankly, and I don't care if this is on film Matt, that's bullshit. Because God Almighty came down and forgave me, brought me back into relationship with Him. Today is the 35th anniversary, today, on the very day, 35 years ago, Mark Wenzel, trusted Christ as his Savior. And I just, led in my heart, to have him, he's going to, just share a brief word of testimony and a little bit pray for our offering. But I just am thrilled, and it's so good to have Mark back as a part of our church here. Mark?

I do appreciate the opportunity this morning, never thought I'd ever be on a platform like this ever again, but God's good. In glory. Now I'll tell you, eventually started, even in spite of the great preaching, started to slide, and rebelled against almighty God, and ran, and I hid behind an excuse. And those of you that were here for that, I apologize and confess my sin to you and ask your forgiveness, it was wrong and it was wicked. January the 7th of this past year in Green Bay, Wisconsin, it showed up, and I was on the brink of disaster. Said I want you, I called you. Come on back. And there was no way I could refuse that, I said, God I'm in a very dark period of my life at that particular moment. But I was done, I couldn't go any further, I said if you take it, and do for your glory, go ahead and take it, and take me and salvage me. And the last nine or 10 months my friends, have been one of the most amazing journeys I've ever been on. Surrender to Him! Young people, I'll say this then I'll sit down, if you say I wanna go run, I wanna go in the world, I wanna go do my own thing before I serve God, that world don't have nothing for you.

Mark can say, I was there. And this is what I learned. This is how my life was turned around. Because when I went down that road that I thought was gonna make me happy and fulfilled, I found myself more empty then when I started. Well when he says that, that's different then me saying it.

And we come up here just, symbolically to lay that memory to rest, and let go, and release. Right here, and let the memory and the hiding and all the secrecy and everything else, rest, right in this cemetery, along with the rest of the family members. From the moment I trusted Christ, until the moment I rebelled against Him, to the time Markie came into being, and how Markie went out the window in last March, and back, back in the local church serving the Lord again. As long as I was in for eight years, all the changes that were made, in 10 months its all gone. Gone. Physically mentally emotionally, the only thing that's not gone is my love for chocolate. Gotta have chocolate! I had a craving the other day, my land. [piano music] [muffled speaking] ♪ Good Christian men rejoice ♪ ♪ With heart and hands and voice ♪ ♪ Now ye hear of endless bliss ♪ ♪ Joy joy Jesus Christ was born for this ♪ ♪ He has opened heaven's door ♪ ♪ And we are blessed forevermore ♪ ♪ Christ is born for this ♪ ♪ Christ is born for this ♪

As I, as I've shared with you the last time, I love the Lord Jesus Christ, and he's my all in all. I got away from the Lord, not gonna go into all of that, but he said, "Mark, I've got "callings on your life. "I called you to be a preacher one day." Where you gonna spend eternity, are you gonna be in heaven or you gonna be in hell?

Heaven.

And who you trusting to get you there? Me?

Ha, no.

I hope you're not trusting me to get you there. Would you trust the Lord Jesus Christ? Alright, that's how it goes, and next time you have the opportunity come on back to church. But do you know for sure if you died right now, you'd be in heaven? With an upraised hand, who can say, preacher I just asked the Lord Jesus to forgive my sin and come into my heart and save me for the very first time. Is there anybody like that today? Okay. ♪ Christ was born for this ♪

Tonight there is a private party for Menomonee Falls High School class of 1978 graduates, and for me, it's also sort of a final weigh in, to come and introduce the new Mark Wenzel. [group chatting]

All I remember with you is when you came to our 30th reunion, and you had the purple dress on!

That was awful.

Yeah that was awful! How long before the reunion were you Markie Anna?

I have absolutely no idea. Not very long.

Not very long?

A couple years.

Okay.

On and off.

Okay, on and off? You really wanted to confuse people then huh? So here you are, back to Mark again.

We like that better.

Good.

It's easier that way.

These are people you just haven't seen in--

Yeah, uh huh, all people I graduated high school with. They were at the last reunion about 5 years ago, when I was in a completely different form, but.

You look good man!

We're working on it a little bit.

You look good.

And you know we always see you at, whenever we go to the airport.

Yeah, exactly.

All right, come on.

Shall we all raise a glass?

Perfect!

We good?

We good.

Thank you everybody! [cross-talking]

Mister Mark is back. Had to take some crap about the last time, but that was good, I like that. If they wouldn't have said anything at all it would been a major problem so. Now I'm at peace with it. Boom, done, over. I don't even know what this is gonna sound like, to be honest with you.

Let's try some mooo. [muffled speaking on cassette]

It's strange because I hear myself and I hear my voice right now on the tape from seven years ago, and then working up, trying to work up and get into a pitch and range where I can conversationally be like this. And then thinking about all the work it took to, to get there when I actually did arrive. And all the struggle and all the frustration that I went through trying to get out of that voice and make it sound, which it did over time. And then to think about I don't need it anymore.

Hi, I'm Markie Anna. I'm a transgendered woman. My life is a rollercoaster ride of confusion, fear and struggle, for identity and marked by internal conflict and depression. Man can run, and run, for year after year, until he realizes that he's running from himself. [soft piano music] Dear Sharon, please be assured that this period of my life is now over, and I understand that I've hurt a lot of people in the past as a result of this, and I ask your forgiveness, and I know I've asked before but, but so I can move on with my life, I'm asking again. [tense piano music] We have contact with Christina, and also my oldest son, Dan. The goal here is to reconcile my family, and family relationships, as a final step in my transition from transition.

Enjoy our two hour, nine minute flight to Boston. [muffled speaking]

Looking forward to meet my daughter-in-law for the first time, and my grandkids, and be reunited with my children. And whoever else decides to show up. I need to have this done for all the right reasons. Not for the loss of the transition, not for the guilt over losing my family, over a marriage that fell apart, where I wound up quitting on the marriage because I couldn't handle it anymore, and just allowing the family to walk out the door. Still can't see it. That one?

Over here.

Dan, how are you?

Good.

Are you Miss Grace? Hi Miss Grace. Hello Miss Sarah.

Hello! Say Hey! [laughing]

Miss Grace, do you know who I am? Who in the world is that big tall man? I'm your daddy's dad. Your Grandpa Wenzel. Did you know your dad had a dad, who was a giant? Do I get to sit next to you? Whose all coming with Chris?

Just Christina. I guess Mom's dropping her off or something.

Oh, alright. I have a good idea, but. [laughing] What, she gonna go to a restaurant or something and wait for her until she's done and bring her back?

Christina's sleeping over.

No actually, she's staying over tonite.

Oh, Okay.

Because then we can bring her back tomorrow.

Wow. [child muffled speaking]

So you still work at the airport?

I do. Eleven years. Just celebrated October the 20th.

Wow.

Getting really really sick of it but.

It's a job.

Yeah it is, these days.

Hola!

Hello Miss Christina!

Hi! She's ripping apart a flower! Yay!

I could see the light in his eyes, I could see how happy he was that everybody was here. He loves his grandkids a ton, so. [child squealing]

It's good to see you're doing well, good to meet you for the first time in a long time. Just wanted to try to bring things together and make things right. And I thought it'd be a good thing to take an opportunity during Christmas time, while we had an opportunity to do this. Father thank you for the opportunity to be here with family and allowing this to happen, I've been trusting you for this for a long time, and thank you that you brought us together, thank you for the food, thank you for Sarah and the kids, and Dan and Christina coming, and pray that you bless this time and be honored and glorified you, in Jesus name we pray, and we also pray that you bless the food and thank you for the hands that made it, in Jesus name, Amen.

I think that I was, it relieved me, personally, because it was, that relationship was starting to form, my brother and my dad and my sister-in-law.

That's a smile, and his nose and his eyeballs. Do you have eyeballs?

No.

No? Then how do you see, if you don't have eyeballs?

It hurt, when he wanted to go through that change and everything. It was like, but he has us? We're his family. It was like, are we not good enough for him? Is this not something that he wanted in the first place?

I haven't been around family members and what have you in quite some time. And I'm coming back to you, basically as a prodigal. Saying, I don't deserve to be a part of your family but I do need to go ahead and apologize to you. Who's that girl? Is that you? You're kidding. Thought it was pretty chintzy that Sharon would drop Christina off and not come in the house to say hello. But frankly it sucks to be alone. And not have companionship. Or be able to share my heart with somebody. But as long as we're talking about emotion and getting down at the gut level right now. Because at the end all, the only people she talked to was her mother and her sister on the telephone, didn't give me the time of day, and ran me down at the Pastor's office to the point where I was absolutely nothing. But could I tell anybody that at the time? No, because, "you're the man in the relationship, "and all the responsibility falls on you." It was so bad that I didn't even want to be me anymore in the midst of that relationship. And that's why I transitioned. Because it made me feel like such a Goddamn failure. An absolute failure. [dog barking] I'll just read the last paragraph. Mark I received your message. I'm praying for your repentance and again there are many more questions that I need to be answered, especially why after eight years you think you can just come up here and stir up things which are peaceful? Sharon.

I'm going to ask you some Markie questions.

Okay. What would you like Markie to talk about?

Is Markie gone for good?

Markie's gone for good 100%. Markie passed, May 13th, 2013 at the Milwaukee County Courthouse, at 11:45 in the morning. And that is completely done. Completely gone, we've cleaned her stuff out, we've buried her, and she's dead. And, and Mark's totally alive until the day God brings me home. 100% passionately and relevantly, Mark Anthony Wenzel, the mighty warrior. The hammer. The evangelist. The precious one.

That's how we ought to crave after God, is what it's saying. So if I do not abide in the word of God, I will not be planted doctrinally, and I will not bring forth fruit in my season. How do we know what God's opinion on marriage is? Okay, find the first time he mentions marriage. That's Genesis Chapter One. So God's definition of marriage is, looking straight through these biblical glasses, he says, "Marriage is between a man, and between a woman." And by the way, same thing dealing with sexuality. What's proper biblical sexuality? Well, he made them male and female, he told them to be fruitful, and he told them to multiply. Let everything that have breath praise the Lord. What's that talking about in the First Corinthians 4, it's talking about interpreting tongues. It's talking about preaching. Women don't preach. They really don't. But the Bible says, "if she thinks she learned anything let her go home and ask her husband."

There are no women preachers. I think that would kill me if I couldn't do that anymore, at some point, because that's so me. And he gave me a verse the other day in First Corinthians, where he talks about, I am, by the grace of God, I am what I am. Ta-da, my hair. Sitting in church I didn't even know, I couldn't remember if I washed my face before I came or not. Ten nine eight seven six five four three two one, oblivion! I want to help you in your struggle to be free. The problem is easy if you take it logically.

Great, how do you feel?

Right now I'm feeling exhilarated, I'm feeling really good. And enthusiastic,

Mm-hmm.

And uh, kind of liberated and free. Kinda looking forward to the birth of my grandson today. You gotta be kidding me, there he is. Oliver Patrick Wenzel. Nine pounds, 10 ounces, 20 inches long. Wow, the kids got hair too. Oliver? [Laughs] Hey Dan and Sarah, this is Daniel's Dad, Mark, I'm proud of you both, and the best to you.

Alright Go ahead.

Hey Miss Grace.

Can you say hi?

Hi Grandpa.

How are you? Are you excited about your new brother?

Yeah. The new baby is very, very cute.

You're kind of living a split life, in a way.

Correct.

How do you see this playing out?

I have no idea to be honest with you. I really, no plan for that at the moment.

I mean, Milwaukee is not that big.

I understand that. Has to be very very very careful, about people, places, and things. And times. An absolute need for things to happen in order to be public. I don't know what a solution would be, to be honest with you. This female portion of me that has been an underlying current since the day I was born, that I've been trying to deny and put off, and try to be macho about and to be declared dead and want to go completely straight 100% heterosexual male, and totally deny and so on and so forth, is actually here, and it is part of me. Going back and forth and back and forth like the waves of the ocean. And being double minded, and unstable at some times. But all I know is it's there, and I'm Markie right now. All right, as far as work goes, I'm gonna need to go ahead and get ready and go and protect America today. It's been nice. Toodles.

How do you feel right now?

Kind of incomplete. But in proper context for going to work. [dramatic instrumental music] Is there anything in our lives tonight that we've covered up? That was one thing, God got a hold of my heart on the weekend, covering stuff up. Dear Jesus, please forgive me for being a sinner. I've sinned against you, and I deserve to be punished in Hell. Sometimes to step up and be a leader, they prefer you to be of the very liberal variety. Markie, she and her. How can you possibly be conservative and Christian and still be trans? One of my greatest desires is just to be a help and encouragement to you. [dramatic instrumental music] The absolute difference that makeup and clothes and a wig makes. Its like, wow.

How would our obedience to the work of God in our hearts, affect our children? I often challenge folks with this, that when God is working in their lives, and of course we have families and friends that we have interacted with for years and then our priorities begin to change after we get saved. You know the best thing you can do for your family is be an obedient Christian.

Yes indeed, it is okay to be different. And yes indeed God made me this way. And this whole process has allowed me to go ahead and accept myself, just seeing me on film, and seeing all the changes and attitudes and confidence and so forth. And at this point I'm not tethered by the past or people. But I'm me. Don't quite know what to say, don't quite know how to approach this, however, I just want to say hello, and looking for a way to go forward. And just be me. And duel function, transgendered, male and female, living in both genders at the moment. And enjoying both ways. And so lets cut this, find out how this looks, and how I sound and we'll make adjustments and we'll review this proper in a minute or two. ♪ There is an ♪ ♪ Unseen hand to me ♪ ♪ That leads the way ♪ ♪ I cannot see ♪ ♪ While going through ♪ ♪ This world of yours ♪ ♪ This hand still leads ♪ ♪ Me as I go ♪ ♪ I'm trusting to ♪ ♪ The unseen hand ♪ ♪ That guides me through ♪ ♪ This weary land ♪ ♪ And some sweet day ♪ ♪ I'll reach that stand ♪ ♪ Still guided by ♪ ♪ The unseen hand ♪ ♪ I long to see ♪ ♪ My savior's face ♪ ♪ And sing a story ♪ ♪ Of his grace ♪ ♪ And there upon ♪ ♪ That golden strand ♪ ♪ I'll praise Him for ♪ ♪ His guiding hand ♪ ♪ I'm trusting to ♪ ♪ The unseen hand ♪ ♪ That guides me through ♪ ♪ The unseen hand ♪