Love Limits
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
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Warren Barrow and Cory Ann Rudy are in love. They enjoy outings to New York City, picnics, long phone conversations, and sing-a-longs. Cory, who gets upset if anybody else pushes Warren's wheelchair while she's around, hopes they will one day marry. Warren's still not sure about marriage but can't imagine life without Cory. Beautifully filmed, LOVE LIMITS is an exploration of Warren and Cory's individual stories and their life together.
On the surface they seem like an odd couple. Warren can talk but can't walk. Cory can walk but can't talk. He is 83 years old, an African American from Brooklyn. She is 36 years old, white and from a farm in upstate New York. What Cory and Warren do share are similar disabilities: both have cerebral palsy and were diagnosed with 'mild mental retardation' as children. They met at a day rehabilitation program 15 years ago, and while they still don't live together, they have had a lasting and deep relationship.
Born in the 1920s, Warren was abandoned in a stark institution at age 5 and taken in by a missionary, raised among dozens of children and church members-part of a vibrant extended family. Cory is the oldest of five children-born to young parents whose doctor advised them to abandon her because she would ruin their lives. Instead, they turned to an intense developmental program called patterning, in which dozens of volunteers helped Cory's body learn skills-like walking-that wouldn't otherwise develop on their own. With the love of the people around them, both exceeded everyone's expectations and today live their lives to the fullest.
With testimony from Cory's family and Warren's closest caregivers, LOVE LIMITS challenges common misconceived attitudes towards people with disabilities. It is a moving portrayal of the powerful love between Cory and Warren: two people united in their commitment to each other and to living their lives with dignity and grace.
'Love is an amazingly complex emotion and despite many efforts to define it in our contemporary society, it is often times much better portrayed visually. This film succeeds in doing that by showing us the story of two individuals...What is most telling is the footage of their connection when they are filmed together, communicating, being pushed in a wheelchair and spending time together. Our observation confirms a bond of commitment and caring albeit unconventional.' -Educational Media Reviews Online
*** '...incorporating commentary from Cory's family and Warren's caregivers to augment the footage of their life together, LOVE LIMITS offers an interesting portrait of the unique challenges facing the couple and those close to them. Recommended' -Video Librarian
Citation
Main credits
Payne, Thymaya O'Brien (Producer)
Payne, Thymaya O'Brien (Director)
Stolarek, Andrew (Producer)
Hslung, Amy (Producer)
Koretz, Eric (Cinematographer)
Runquist, Tom (Film editor)
Ramsay, Meg (Film editor)
Other credits
Director of photography, Eric Koretz; edited by Tom Runquist, Meg Ramsay.
Distributor subjects
Closed Captioned; Disabilities; Fanlight Collection; Health Care Issues; Health Issues; Human Sexuality; Intellectual DisabilitiesKeywords
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.215 align:middle line:90%
00:00:07.215 --> 00:00:08.830 align:middle line:90%
This must be-- say it with me.
00:00:08.830 --> 00:00:11.818 align:middle line:84%
This must be the
gate of heaven.
00:00:11.818 --> 00:00:13.000 align:middle line:90%
Gate of heaven.
00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:14.520 align:middle line:90%
And I didn\'t even know it.
00:00:14.520 --> 00:00:16.011 align:middle line:90%
And I didn\'t even know it.
00:00:16.011 --> 00:00:16.508 align:middle line:90%
This is--
00:00:16.508 --> 00:00:17.502 align:middle line:90%
This is--
00:00:17.502 --> 00:00:19.987 align:middle line:90%
--the house of God.
00:00:19.987 --> 00:00:22.969 align:middle line:90%
How awesome is this place?
00:00:22.969 --> 00:00:24.219 align:middle line:90%
Hallelujah.
00:00:24.219 --> 00:00:26.448 align:middle line:90%
00:00:26.448 --> 00:00:26.945 align:middle line:90%
Hallelujah.
00:00:26.945 --> 00:00:28.436 align:middle line:90%
Thank you, Jesus.
00:00:28.436 --> 00:00:31.418 align:middle line:90%
Thank you, Jesus.
00:00:31.418 --> 00:00:31.915 align:middle line:90%
[SINGING]
00:00:31.915 --> 00:00:34.897 align:middle line:90%
Oh, I\'m trading my sorrows.
00:00:34.897 --> 00:00:38.873 align:middle line:90%
I\'m trading my pain.
00:00:38.873 --> 00:00:43.346 align:middle line:84%
I\'m laying it down for
the joy of the Lord.
00:00:43.346 --> 00:00:46.825 align:middle line:90%
00:00:46.825 --> 00:00:48.813 align:middle line:90%
Yes Lord, yes Lord--
00:00:48.813 --> 00:00:50.063 align:middle line:90%
yes, yes Lord.
00:00:50.063 --> 00:01:04.269 align:middle line:90%
00:01:04.269 --> 00:01:08.480 align:middle line:84%
Jesus said the only way that
they would know you is not by
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:12.270 align:middle line:84%
the suits that you wear, how
big your congregation is or
00:01:12.270 --> 00:01:14.650 align:middle line:90%
how eloquent you speak.
00:01:14.650 --> 00:01:17.962 align:middle line:84%
He says they will know you in
the manner in which you love.
00:01:17.962 --> 00:02:03.370 align:middle line:90%
00:02:03.370 --> 00:02:07.370 align:middle line:90%
[ALARM RINGING]
00:02:07.370 --> 00:02:11.640 align:middle line:90%
00:02:11.640 --> 00:02:15.050 align:middle line:84%
I\'m just getting him ready to
attract all the women, making
00:02:15.050 --> 00:02:16.300 align:middle line:90%
him smell good.
00:02:16.300 --> 00:02:19.720 align:middle line:90%
00:02:19.720 --> 00:02:23.770 align:middle line:84%
Warren is diagnosed with mild
mental retardation, cerebral
00:02:23.770 --> 00:02:25.490 align:middle line:90%
palsy, and speak impediment.
00:02:25.490 --> 00:02:26.860 align:middle line:90%
Oh, man.
00:02:26.860 --> 00:02:29.350 align:middle line:84%
You smell like a French
whore house.
00:02:29.350 --> 00:02:32.540 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]
00:02:32.540 --> 00:02:34.561 align:middle line:90%
There you go.
00:02:34.561 --> 00:02:35.430 align:middle line:90%
It\'s OK.
00:02:35.430 --> 00:02:41.665 align:middle line:84%
Cory, she is mild mental
retarded with cerebral palsy
00:02:41.665 --> 00:02:42.810 align:middle line:90%
and hearing impaired.
00:02:42.810 --> 00:02:45.670 align:middle line:84%
We need to buy you
a regular comb.
00:02:45.670 --> 00:02:49.450 align:middle line:84%
It\'s been quite a while when
she first met Warren.
00:02:49.450 --> 00:02:53.050 align:middle line:90%
About 10 years, I think.
00:02:53.050 --> 00:02:56.430 align:middle line:84%
They were always together
from the time they met.
00:02:56.430 --> 00:03:00.060 align:middle line:84%
They always seem to be kind of
opposite, in a sense, but then
00:03:00.060 --> 00:03:02.810 align:middle line:90%
also so connected.
00:03:02.810 --> 00:03:04.620 align:middle line:90%
They\'re like each other.
00:03:04.620 --> 00:03:07.580 align:middle line:84%
They have a reality that
they deal with.
00:03:07.580 --> 00:03:08.830 align:middle line:90%
That\'s very difficult.
00:03:08.830 --> 00:03:26.010 align:middle line:90%
00:03:26.010 --> 00:03:30.383 align:middle line:90%
[BEEPING]
00:03:30.383 --> 00:03:32.630 align:middle line:90%
They\'re putting me in a movie.
00:03:32.630 --> 00:03:34.740 align:middle line:84%
Yeah, they\'re going to
put you in a movie.
00:03:34.740 --> 00:03:37.240 align:middle line:84%
You\'re going to be
with Tom Jones.
00:03:37.240 --> 00:03:39.940 align:middle line:90%
Stop, stop, stop.
00:03:39.940 --> 00:03:43.660 align:middle line:90%
00:03:43.660 --> 00:03:46.890 align:middle line:84%
A lot of them, at a certain IQ
level, I guess, they are a
00:03:46.890 --> 00:03:50.370 align:middle line:84%
little bit more conscious that
they\'re different, that maybe
00:03:50.370 --> 00:03:53.850 align:middle line:84%
an average woman wouldn\'t
date them.
00:03:53.850 --> 00:03:54.950 align:middle line:90%
It\'s really hard.
00:03:54.950 --> 00:03:58.930 align:middle line:84%
We try to get people involved
in community events so they
00:03:58.930 --> 00:04:01.310 align:middle line:84%
can meet people like them,
people with similar interests
00:04:01.310 --> 00:04:02.760 align:middle line:90%
that they can socialize with.
00:04:02.760 --> 00:04:06.320 align:middle line:90%
00:04:06.320 --> 00:04:10.456 align:middle line:84%
Cory met Warren at the
day hab program.
00:04:10.456 --> 00:04:13.950 align:middle line:84%
I had always heard, Cory and
Warren, Cory and Warren.
00:04:13.950 --> 00:04:16.519 align:middle line:84%
They were always together
from the time they met.
00:04:16.519 --> 00:04:21.560 align:middle line:90%
00:04:21.560 --> 00:04:23.970 align:middle line:84%
Most of the time, I see them
sitting together, whether it\'s
00:04:23.970 --> 00:04:26.310 align:middle line:84%
a communication group
or a money skill
00:04:26.310 --> 00:04:27.540 align:middle line:90%
group or music group.
00:04:27.540 --> 00:04:28.120 align:middle line:90%
Community outing.
00:04:28.120 --> 00:04:30.340 align:middle line:90%
Community outing.
00:04:30.340 --> 00:04:32.200 align:middle line:84%
That\'s their time
to be together.
00:04:32.200 --> 00:04:33.740 align:middle line:90%
And they enjoy their program.
00:04:33.740 --> 00:04:35.400 align:middle line:84%
And they enjoy doing
it together.
00:04:35.400 --> 00:04:55.080 align:middle line:90%
00:04:55.080 --> 00:04:58.750 align:middle line:84%
The age difference is
quite a few years.
00:04:58.750 --> 00:05:02.140 align:middle line:84%
There\'s 40-some years
difference.
00:05:02.140 --> 00:05:05.820 align:middle line:84%
But she had no fear of any
of his disabilities.
00:05:05.820 --> 00:05:07.910 align:middle line:84%
And he doesn\'t seem to
fear any of hers.
00:05:07.910 --> 00:05:11.090 align:middle line:90%
00:05:11.090 --> 00:05:12.240 align:middle line:90%
She always liked to help.
00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:15.310 align:middle line:84%
And she would always want to
push Warren in the wheelchair.
00:05:15.310 --> 00:05:19.490 align:middle line:84%
And in fact, she gets upset if
somebody else pushes Warren.
00:05:19.490 --> 00:05:35.458 align:middle line:90%
00:05:35.458 --> 00:05:37.712 align:middle line:90%
You\'ve known Cory for 12 years?
00:05:37.712 --> 00:05:38.656 align:middle line:90%
Yep.
00:05:38.656 --> 00:05:39.130 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:05:39.130 --> 00:05:40.785 align:middle line:90%
And you still love her.
00:05:40.785 --> 00:05:41.660 align:middle line:90%
Yes.
00:05:41.660 --> 00:05:42.910 align:middle line:90%
Yeah?
00:05:42.910 --> 00:05:47.720 align:middle line:90%
00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:53.719 align:middle line:84%
I like Cory because
she\'s honest.
00:05:53.719 --> 00:05:57.100 align:middle line:90%
She\'s honest.
00:05:57.100 --> 00:05:58.549 align:middle line:90%
She tells you the truth.
00:05:58.549 --> 00:06:02.896 align:middle line:90%
00:06:02.896 --> 00:06:04.630 align:middle line:90%
She brings out the best in me.
00:06:04.630 --> 00:06:11.600 align:middle line:90%
00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:12.580 align:middle line:90%
He talks for you?
00:06:12.580 --> 00:06:13.830 align:middle line:90%
Yes.
00:06:13.830 --> 00:06:16.080 align:middle line:90%
00:06:16.080 --> 00:06:18.580 align:middle line:90%
He loves me.
00:06:18.580 --> 00:06:21.825 align:middle line:90%
And he loves you?
00:06:21.825 --> 00:06:23.797 align:middle line:90%
I love him.
00:06:23.797 --> 00:06:25.047 align:middle line:90%
And you love him.
00:06:25.047 --> 00:06:29.720 align:middle line:90%
00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:31.260 align:middle line:90%
Warren understands you?
00:06:31.260 --> 00:06:32.510 align:middle line:90%
Um-hm.
00:06:32.510 --> 00:06:37.690 align:middle line:90%
00:06:37.690 --> 00:06:38.948 align:middle line:90%
He knows and you know.
00:06:38.948 --> 00:06:50.890 align:middle line:90%
00:06:50.890 --> 00:06:52.650 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:06:52.650 --> 00:06:53.900 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE].
00:06:53.900 --> 00:07:01.060 align:middle line:90%
00:07:01.060 --> 00:07:02.310 align:middle line:90%
Oh, yeah?
00:07:02.310 --> 00:07:09.960 align:middle line:90%
00:07:09.960 --> 00:07:11.210 align:middle line:90%
How?
00:07:11.210 --> 00:07:16.270 align:middle line:90%
00:07:16.270 --> 00:07:17.520 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE].
00:07:17.520 --> 00:07:21.572 align:middle line:90%
00:07:21.572 --> 00:07:25.100 align:middle line:90%
I\'m at this place.
00:07:25.100 --> 00:07:26.350 align:middle line:90%
The doctor.
00:07:26.350 --> 00:07:33.430 align:middle line:90%
00:07:33.430 --> 00:07:36.650 align:middle line:90%
Oh, OK.
00:07:36.650 --> 00:07:37.900 align:middle line:90%
Be--
00:07:37.900 --> 00:07:40.980 align:middle line:90%
00:07:40.980 --> 00:07:43.300 align:middle line:90%
be happy.
00:07:43.300 --> 00:07:45.190 align:middle line:90%
Be happy.
00:07:45.190 --> 00:07:46.440 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:07:46.440 --> 00:07:53.335 align:middle line:90%
00:07:53.335 --> 00:07:54.585 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE].
00:07:54.585 --> 00:07:58.480 align:middle line:90%
00:07:58.480 --> 00:07:59.730 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE].
00:07:59.730 --> 00:08:13.580 align:middle line:90%
00:08:13.580 --> 00:08:16.170 align:middle line:90%
Everything takes time.
00:08:16.170 --> 00:08:17.420 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:08:17.420 --> 00:08:24.036 align:middle line:90%
00:08:24.036 --> 00:08:33.728 align:middle line:84%
But don\'t let the problems
[INAUDIBLE].
00:08:33.728 --> 00:08:38.508 align:middle line:90%
00:08:38.508 --> 00:08:40.244 align:middle line:90%
Don\'t worry about it.
00:08:40.244 --> 00:08:41.494 align:middle line:90%
Yes.
00:08:41.494 --> 00:08:44.370 align:middle line:90%
00:08:44.370 --> 00:08:45.620 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE].
00:08:45.620 --> 00:09:00.134 align:middle line:90%
00:09:00.134 --> 00:09:01.384 align:middle line:90%
Good-bye.
00:09:01.384 --> 00:09:05.966 align:middle line:90%
00:09:05.966 --> 00:09:08.920 align:middle line:90%
Finished.
00:09:08.920 --> 00:09:10.170 align:middle line:90%
Yes.
00:09:10.170 --> 00:09:16.130 align:middle line:90%
00:09:16.130 --> 00:09:28.040 align:middle line:84%
I told Cory that she gets hurts
very easy, intimidated
00:09:28.040 --> 00:09:30.460 align:middle line:90%
by everything.
00:09:30.460 --> 00:09:34.810 align:middle line:90%
But I say try to have fun.
00:09:34.810 --> 00:09:36.060 align:middle line:90%
Have fun.
00:09:36.060 --> 00:09:38.800 align:middle line:90%
00:09:38.800 --> 00:09:41.240 align:middle line:90%
I was trying to help her.
00:09:41.240 --> 00:09:44.180 align:middle line:90%
00:09:44.180 --> 00:09:47.470 align:middle line:90%
Sometimes I suggest to her--
00:09:47.470 --> 00:09:49.810 align:middle line:84%
sometimes I say, Cory,
look at me.
00:09:49.810 --> 00:09:52.710 align:middle line:90%
00:09:52.710 --> 00:10:05.336 align:middle line:84%
People told me a long time ago
I have a lot of sense.
00:10:05.336 --> 00:10:06.818 align:middle line:90%
[DIAL TONES]
00:10:06.818 --> 00:10:09.288 align:middle line:90%
I didn\'t believe that.
00:10:09.288 --> 00:10:10.538 align:middle line:90%
I didn\'t believe that.
00:10:10.538 --> 00:10:37.070 align:middle line:90%
00:10:37.070 --> 00:10:40.180 align:middle line:84%
She just wants to be able to
do the things that we do.
00:10:40.180 --> 00:10:43.080 align:middle line:84%
I think a lot of people probably
do treat her like
00:10:43.080 --> 00:10:43.870 align:middle line:90%
she\'s handicapped.
00:10:43.870 --> 00:10:45.183 align:middle line:84%
And they don\'t treat her
like she\'s normal.
00:10:45.183 --> 00:10:47.610 align:middle line:84%
And they don\'t realize how
aware she really is.
00:10:47.610 --> 00:10:50.580 align:middle line:90%
00:10:50.580 --> 00:10:54.410 align:middle line:84%
You said to me one time, I used
to feel hurt when people
00:10:54.410 --> 00:11:00.850 align:middle line:84%
would say things to me or look
at me like I wasn\'t like them.
00:11:00.850 --> 00:11:03.790 align:middle line:84%
I remember her being very
depressed times, very
00:11:03.790 --> 00:11:08.880 align:middle line:84%
depressed, talking about wanting
to kill herself, just
00:11:08.880 --> 00:11:12.700 align:middle line:84%
because of that, because
of the frustration.
00:11:12.700 --> 00:11:13.740 align:middle line:90%
Why is this happening?
00:11:13.740 --> 00:11:14.045 align:middle line:90%
Why me?
00:11:14.045 --> 00:11:16.640 align:middle line:84%
And why would God
do this to me?
00:11:16.640 --> 00:11:18.330 align:middle line:84%
I think she\'s finally come
to the realization
00:11:18.330 --> 00:11:20.570 align:middle line:90%
that she can\'t speak.
00:11:20.570 --> 00:11:22.730 align:middle line:84%
And she sees that other people
don\'t understand her.
00:11:22.730 --> 00:11:25.550 align:middle line:84%
So she started to ask other
people to pray for
00:11:25.550 --> 00:11:27.430 align:middle line:90%
her so she can speak.
00:11:27.430 --> 00:11:29.310 align:middle line:84%
Because I think she thinks that
her prayers aren\'t being
00:11:29.310 --> 00:11:33.760 align:middle line:84%
answered because God can\'t
understand her.
00:11:33.760 --> 00:11:39.530 align:middle line:84%
Oftentimes they get depressed,
and often blame themselves for
00:11:39.530 --> 00:11:41.920 align:middle line:84%
their biology turning
against them,
00:11:41.920 --> 00:11:44.766 align:middle line:90%
accidents that have happened.
00:11:44.766 --> 00:11:48.270 align:middle line:84%
The key is try to get them out
of that way of thinking and to
00:11:48.270 --> 00:11:53.440 align:middle line:84%
realize what\'s really important
is not what you have
00:11:53.440 --> 00:11:55.168 align:middle line:90%
lost, but what\'s still there.
00:11:55.168 --> 00:12:18.510 align:middle line:90%
00:12:18.510 --> 00:12:19.620 align:middle line:90%
I\'m Jacob R. Rudy.
00:12:19.620 --> 00:12:22.416 align:middle line:90%
I\'m father of Cory Rudy.
00:12:22.416 --> 00:12:24.670 align:middle line:84%
And we live here at
Round Hill Road.
00:12:24.670 --> 00:12:27.570 align:middle line:90%
00:12:27.570 --> 00:12:30.610 align:middle line:84%
This is her home,
her real home.
00:12:30.610 --> 00:12:33.150 align:middle line:90%
00:12:33.150 --> 00:12:34.190 align:middle line:90%
We have five children.
00:12:34.190 --> 00:12:35.730 align:middle line:90%
We have three girls.
00:12:35.730 --> 00:12:37.195 align:middle line:84%
Then we have identical
twin boys.
00:12:37.195 --> 00:12:40.362 align:middle line:90%
00:12:40.362 --> 00:12:42.220 align:middle line:84%
I believe Jason\'s
the youngest.
00:12:42.220 --> 00:12:47.270 align:middle line:84%
And 47 minutes later
came Justin.
00:12:47.270 --> 00:12:52.780 align:middle line:84%
Lindy, she\'s the next
youngest, and Tracy.
00:12:52.780 --> 00:12:53.830 align:middle line:90%
Then Cory\'s the oldest.
00:12:53.830 --> 00:12:55.080 align:middle line:90%
Cory was the first born.
00:12:55.080 --> 00:12:57.640 align:middle line:90%
00:12:57.640 --> 00:13:01.910 align:middle line:84%
Oh, I was married in
\'69, June of \'69.
00:13:01.910 --> 00:13:06.780 align:middle line:90%
Cory was born August of \'70.
00:13:06.780 --> 00:13:09.570 align:middle line:90%
And was it a normal pregnancy?
00:13:09.570 --> 00:13:10.460 align:middle line:90%
Normal pregnancy.
00:13:10.460 --> 00:13:11.850 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t really gain
a lot of weight.
00:13:11.850 --> 00:13:14.020 align:middle line:84%
I gained five pounds by
the time I had her.
00:13:14.020 --> 00:13:15.420 align:middle line:90%
But she was a preemie.
00:13:15.420 --> 00:13:17.650 align:middle line:90%
She was six weeks early--
00:13:17.650 --> 00:13:20.240 align:middle line:90%
3 pounds, 12 ounces.
00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:23.440 align:middle line:84%
But everything seemed fine,
as far fine as I knew.
00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:27.430 align:middle line:84%
As far as what the doctor said,
everything was fine.
00:13:27.430 --> 00:13:29.970 align:middle line:84%
And it wasn\'t until she was
months old that I just noticed
00:13:29.970 --> 00:13:32.040 align:middle line:84%
that she wasn\'t doing
as much as she was
00:13:32.040 --> 00:13:34.260 align:middle line:90%
doing a few weeks before.
00:13:34.260 --> 00:13:35.620 align:middle line:90%
She couldn\'t pick up objects.
00:13:35.620 --> 00:13:36.960 align:middle line:84%
She couldn\'t hold her
bottle anymore.
00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:39.000 align:middle line:90%
She couldn\'t push herself up.
00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:41.000 align:middle line:84%
So we know there\'s something
going on.
00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:43.830 align:middle line:90%
00:13:43.830 --> 00:13:49.500 align:middle line:84%
There was a lack of oxygen
either during birth or after
00:13:49.500 --> 00:13:51.140 align:middle line:90%
she was born.
00:13:51.140 --> 00:13:53.620 align:middle line:84%
I did know one of the nurses
that was at the hospital.
00:13:53.620 --> 00:13:55.220 align:middle line:84%
Cory stayed in the hospital
for three
00:13:55.220 --> 00:13:56.840 align:middle line:90%
weeks to gain weight.
00:13:56.840 --> 00:14:00.140 align:middle line:84%
And when I went to talk to her
and asked her was there
00:14:00.140 --> 00:14:03.950 align:middle line:84%
anything, she says, oh, yeah,
Cory used to stop breathing
00:14:03.950 --> 00:14:04.550 align:middle line:90%
all the time.
00:14:04.550 --> 00:14:08.522 align:middle line:84%
And we used to have to tap her
on the feet and reminder her
00:14:08.522 --> 00:14:10.000 align:middle line:90%
to breathe.
00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:13.170 align:middle line:84%
So just in my own
mind, I figure
00:14:13.170 --> 00:14:14.980 align:middle line:90%
maybe she stopped breathing.
00:14:14.980 --> 00:14:16.110 align:middle line:90%
And nobody was there.
00:14:16.110 --> 00:14:18.330 align:middle line:84%
And when they found her,
they tapped her.
00:14:18.330 --> 00:14:21.680 align:middle line:84%
But she had already been without
oxygen for too long a
00:14:21.680 --> 00:14:24.040 align:middle line:90%
period of time.
00:14:24.040 --> 00:14:25.920 align:middle line:90%
I was probably 26 years old.
00:14:25.920 --> 00:14:29.100 align:middle line:90%
My wife was very young--
00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:30.045 align:middle line:90%
very, very young.
00:14:30.045 --> 00:14:34.280 align:middle line:84%
And I\'m sure there was a
lot of reasons to maybe
00:14:34.280 --> 00:14:35.880 align:middle line:90%
throw in the towel.
00:14:35.880 --> 00:14:38.280 align:middle line:84%
We went to Saint Luke\'s
Hospital Center.
00:14:38.280 --> 00:14:43.570 align:middle line:84%
And I think it was Dr. Carl
Braun was his name.
00:14:43.570 --> 00:14:48.340 align:middle line:84%
And he said she\'s severely
mentally
00:14:48.340 --> 00:14:51.380 align:middle line:90%
and physically retarded.
00:14:51.380 --> 00:14:53.850 align:middle line:84%
Put her away before
she\'s three.
00:14:53.850 --> 00:14:54.970 align:middle line:90%
She\'ll ruin your family.
00:14:54.970 --> 00:14:58.020 align:middle line:90%
And she\'ll ruin your life.
00:14:58.020 --> 00:15:01.272 align:middle line:84%
And I think I was 21 years
old when I heard that.
00:15:01.272 --> 00:15:05.920 align:middle line:84%
But when it\'s your child,
you don\'t do that.
00:15:05.920 --> 00:15:11.210 align:middle line:84%
It was an option to give up and
to do it, which probably
00:15:11.210 --> 00:15:12.950 align:middle line:84%
would have been the
easier way--
00:15:12.950 --> 00:15:14.480 align:middle line:90%
heck of a lot easier.
00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:16.390 align:middle line:90%
But it wasn\'t even an option.
00:15:16.390 --> 00:15:17.640 align:middle line:90%
No way.
00:15:17.640 --> 00:15:20.260 align:middle line:90%
00:15:20.260 --> 00:15:23.595 align:middle line:84%
Did you go to the hospital
at some point?
00:15:23.595 --> 00:15:32.830 align:middle line:84%
I was in the hospital since I
was about five years old.
00:15:32.830 --> 00:15:34.800 align:middle line:84%
You were in the hospital
at five years old.
00:15:34.800 --> 00:15:35.630 align:middle line:90%
Do you remember that?
00:15:35.630 --> 00:15:36.350 align:middle line:90%
Yep.
00:15:36.350 --> 00:15:38.130 align:middle line:90%
Yeah, you do?
00:15:38.130 --> 00:15:41.294 align:middle line:84%
And who took you to
the hospital?
00:15:41.294 --> 00:15:43.050 align:middle line:90%
My mother.
00:15:43.050 --> 00:15:46.870 align:middle line:84%
Did she tell you where
you were going?
00:15:46.870 --> 00:15:48.815 align:middle line:90%
No?
00:15:48.815 --> 00:15:53.180 align:middle line:84%
From what I understand, Warren\'s
background, he had
00:15:53.180 --> 00:15:58.620 align:middle line:84%
parents that, I believe,
deserted him, or
00:15:58.620 --> 00:16:00.560 align:middle line:90%
had to give him up.
00:16:00.560 --> 00:16:01.810 align:middle line:84%
He was just kind of
dropped off at the
00:16:01.810 --> 00:16:04.520 align:middle line:90%
hospital when he was young.
00:16:04.520 --> 00:16:06.150 align:middle line:84%
That\'s pretty much
all we know.
00:16:06.150 --> 00:16:08.690 align:middle line:84%
When I started working with him,
the biggest need was for
00:16:08.690 --> 00:16:10.600 align:middle line:90%
him to go on vacation--
00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:12.990 align:middle line:90%
maybe a cruise to Florida.
00:16:12.990 --> 00:16:14.250 align:middle line:90%
Sounds simple.
00:16:14.250 --> 00:16:16.950 align:middle line:84%
Problem is, he has no
identification.
00:16:16.950 --> 00:16:19.770 align:middle line:84%
So I started trying to find
his family, find his birth
00:16:19.770 --> 00:16:22.790 align:middle line:84%
certificate, find some way to
help him get the ID he needed
00:16:22.790 --> 00:16:26.530 align:middle line:84%
so he could get a passport
so he could travel.
00:16:26.530 --> 00:16:29.500 align:middle line:84%
And that went on for
a couple of years.
00:16:29.500 --> 00:16:31.550 align:middle line:84%
And I wasn\'t actually
successful.
00:16:31.550 --> 00:16:34.815 align:middle line:84%
I was able to find his death
certificate for his mother and
00:16:34.815 --> 00:16:37.020 align:middle line:84%
his father, which is really
interesting because it gave
00:16:37.020 --> 00:16:38.480 align:middle line:84%
them some information
he never had.
00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:41.400 align:middle line:90%
00:16:41.400 --> 00:16:43.250 align:middle line:84%
And he was grateful
for my attempts.
00:16:43.250 --> 00:16:44.620 align:middle line:84%
And he was happy just
to learn a little
00:16:44.620 --> 00:16:45.620 align:middle line:90%
bit about this family.
00:16:45.620 --> 00:16:47.786 align:middle line:84%
Although I think it made
him kind of sad.
00:16:47.786 --> 00:16:51.260 align:middle line:90%
It kicked up some emotions.
00:16:51.260 --> 00:16:52.330 align:middle line:90%
They just left him there.
00:16:52.330 --> 00:16:54.410 align:middle line:84%
And they were going to ship
him off to welfare island.
00:16:54.410 --> 00:17:00.960 align:middle line:90%
00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:02.620 align:middle line:84%
When you lived in the
hospital, did
00:17:02.620 --> 00:17:04.585 align:middle line:90%
you have any friends?
00:17:04.585 --> 00:17:11.400 align:middle line:84%
They put me in a
room by myself.
00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:12.770 align:middle line:84%
They put you in a room
by yourself?
00:17:12.770 --> 00:17:13.664 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:17:13.664 --> 00:17:18.440 align:middle line:84%
And what did you do all day
in the room by yourself?
00:17:18.440 --> 00:17:23.150 align:middle line:84%
I liked to look out
the window.
00:17:23.150 --> 00:17:25.800 align:middle line:90%
You\'d look out the window?
00:17:25.800 --> 00:17:27.050 align:middle line:90%
What did you think about?
00:17:27.050 --> 00:17:31.970 align:middle line:90%
00:17:31.970 --> 00:17:34.124 align:middle line:90%
I want to go home.
00:17:34.124 --> 00:17:36.010 align:middle line:90%
I want to go home.
00:17:36.010 --> 00:17:37.531 align:middle line:90%
Let me get out of here.
00:17:37.531 --> 00:17:41.410 align:middle line:90%
00:17:41.410 --> 00:17:45.470 align:middle line:84%
It was a time when people just
didn\'t know what was going on
00:17:45.470 --> 00:17:47.050 align:middle line:90%
in the institutions.
00:17:47.050 --> 00:17:48.820 align:middle line:90%
Many of the people there simply
00:17:48.820 --> 00:17:51.950 align:middle line:90%
didn\'t have any clothes.
00:17:51.950 --> 00:17:53.040 align:middle line:90%
They were being hosed.
00:17:53.040 --> 00:17:54.576 align:middle line:90%
They were being beaten.
00:17:54.576 --> 00:17:55.806 align:middle line:90%
They were being starved.
00:17:55.806 --> 00:17:58.030 align:middle line:84%
They were being over-medicated
or not medicated at all.
00:17:58.030 --> 00:18:01.810 align:middle line:90%
00:18:01.810 --> 00:18:04.360 align:middle line:84%
You know, when you look at
the Willowbrook days to
00:18:04.360 --> 00:18:07.680 align:middle line:84%
comparatively today, it\'s
come a long way.
00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:09.880 align:middle line:84%
We used to just shut them
away in an institution.
00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:13.570 align:middle line:84%
I mean, what kind of society
would we be if we
00:18:13.570 --> 00:18:14.820 align:middle line:90%
continued to do that?
00:18:14.820 --> 00:18:34.656 align:middle line:90%
00:18:34.656 --> 00:18:38.360 align:middle line:84%
Sister Moetry got me out
of the hospital.
00:18:38.360 --> 00:18:40.405 align:middle line:84%
Why did Sister Moetry know
you were in the hospital?
00:18:40.405 --> 00:18:42.980 align:middle line:90%
00:18:42.980 --> 00:18:48.550 align:middle line:84%
Because she did missionary
work.
00:18:48.550 --> 00:18:51.550 align:middle line:84%
The way that people came into
the church is primarily
00:18:51.550 --> 00:18:54.480 align:middle line:84%
because of the outreach
that we had.
00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:56.160 align:middle line:84%
Now understand, we\'ve had
at least seven or eight
00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:59.270 align:middle line:84%
missionaries out there every
day, going out there into the
00:18:59.270 --> 00:19:00.810 align:middle line:84%
community, different
communities.
00:19:00.810 --> 00:19:03.180 align:middle line:84%
And if I saw a need, or whatever
the case may be, they
00:19:03.180 --> 00:19:04.500 align:middle line:90%
would address it.
00:19:04.500 --> 00:19:08.920 align:middle line:84%
And we went to all the
low-income developments.
00:19:08.920 --> 00:19:11.040 align:middle line:90%
We picked the children up.
00:19:11.040 --> 00:19:13.070 align:middle line:90%
We brought them to the church.
00:19:13.070 --> 00:19:14.560 align:middle line:90%
We fed them.
00:19:14.560 --> 00:19:15.850 align:middle line:90%
We taught them.
00:19:15.850 --> 00:19:20.620 align:middle line:84%
It wasn\'t the traditional church
type thing, because we
00:19:20.620 --> 00:19:24.600 align:middle line:90%
didn\'t believe in religiosity.
00:19:24.600 --> 00:19:27.876 align:middle line:84%
We felt that people should have
a relationship with God.
00:19:27.876 --> 00:19:33.540 align:middle line:90%
00:19:33.540 --> 00:19:36.966 align:middle line:84%
My father used to
say a saying.
00:19:36.966 --> 00:19:39.690 align:middle line:84%
He said love doesn\'t
cost a thing.
00:19:39.690 --> 00:19:41.700 align:middle line:84%
And believe me, every
child that was
00:19:41.700 --> 00:19:43.880 align:middle line:90%
raised here had a father.
00:19:43.880 --> 00:19:48.380 align:middle line:90%
Dad was a father to everybody.
00:19:48.380 --> 00:19:51.275 align:middle line:84%
All the people that came here
that either were adopted or
00:19:51.275 --> 00:19:54.380 align:middle line:84%
brought here to live here
because they was coming up in
00:19:54.380 --> 00:19:57.560 align:middle line:84%
dysfunctional families or places
that didn\'t have money
00:19:57.560 --> 00:19:59.700 align:middle line:84%
to raise them, and the
church took them in.
00:19:59.700 --> 00:20:00.952 align:middle line:90%
And they raised them.
00:20:00.952 --> 00:20:04.820 align:middle line:84%
It was amazing what they did,
the patients that the people
00:20:04.820 --> 00:20:08.160 align:middle line:84%
and with all these
people here.
00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:10.140 align:middle line:90%
It\'s fantastic.
00:20:10.140 --> 00:20:14.350 align:middle line:84%
They\'re like saints walking
around here.
00:20:14.350 --> 00:20:18.960 align:middle line:84%
As a young child, I\'m sure I
questioned it-- like, wait,
00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:20.950 align:middle line:84%
how am I related to this
person over here?
00:20:20.950 --> 00:20:22.650 align:middle line:84%
Now I don\'t even think to
question it, because it
00:20:22.650 --> 00:20:23.186 align:middle line:90%
doesn\'t matter.
00:20:23.186 --> 00:20:25.420 align:middle line:84%
Because the more love
the better.
00:20:25.420 --> 00:20:28.080 align:middle line:84%
And it doesn\'t hurt to have
new people that love you.
00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:28.810 align:middle line:90%
And you love them back.
00:20:28.810 --> 00:20:32.240 align:middle line:84%
And that\'s really, truly
what I think
00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:33.790 align:middle line:90%
family really is, yeah.
00:20:33.790 --> 00:20:35.350 align:middle line:90%
And Warren sat at the table.
00:20:35.350 --> 00:20:39.150 align:middle line:84%
And he said one morning, he
says, I\'m so glad that my
00:20:39.150 --> 00:20:41.180 align:middle line:90%
mother left me.
00:20:41.180 --> 00:20:45.740 align:middle line:84%
Because when she left me, I
gained a whole new family.
00:20:45.740 --> 00:20:50.700 align:middle line:84%
Once you begin to see your
relationship with people in a
00:20:50.700 --> 00:20:54.323 align:middle line:84%
God-like manner, it makes
a difference.
00:20:54.323 --> 00:21:01.940 align:middle line:90%
00:21:01.940 --> 00:21:05.180 align:middle line:84%
One of the wonderful things
about human nature is the way
00:21:05.180 --> 00:21:09.880 align:middle line:84%
people respond to human need,
especially to children.
00:21:09.880 --> 00:21:13.670 align:middle line:84%
Thousands and thousands of
people all over the world
00:21:13.670 --> 00:21:15.170 align:middle line:90%
contribute time to patterning.
00:21:15.170 --> 00:21:18.660 align:middle line:90%
00:21:18.660 --> 00:21:26.730 align:middle line:90%
27, 28, 29, 30.
00:21:26.730 --> 00:21:32.500 align:middle line:84%
Patterning involved putting
Cory\'s brain and her muscles
00:21:32.500 --> 00:21:34.670 align:middle line:84%
through what the brain
didn\'t do on its own.
00:21:34.670 --> 00:21:37.360 align:middle line:90%
00:21:37.360 --> 00:21:41.050 align:middle line:84%
We started where you\'d put her
on a table, and put her arms
00:21:41.050 --> 00:21:44.520 align:middle line:84%
and legs and turning her head
the same way a baby would do
00:21:44.520 --> 00:21:48.230 align:middle line:90%
when they started crawling.
00:21:48.230 --> 00:21:50.350 align:middle line:84%
We had a little wooden
box with ropes.
00:21:50.350 --> 00:21:51.530 align:middle line:90%
It was about eight feet long.
00:21:51.530 --> 00:21:55.040 align:middle line:84%
And you had to try to encourage
her to get through.
00:21:55.040 --> 00:21:58.430 align:middle line:84%
There was this chair that was
like a spinning chair.
00:21:58.430 --> 00:21:59.370 align:middle line:90%
And it had a seat belt.
00:21:59.370 --> 00:22:01.062 align:middle line:90%
And you strapped into it.
00:22:01.062 --> 00:22:03.150 align:middle line:90%
And they would just spin you.
00:22:03.150 --> 00:22:05.780 align:middle line:84%
I\'m not sure exactly what
the intent of that was.
00:22:05.780 --> 00:22:08.180 align:middle line:84%
It\'s still in the basement
at grandma\'s.
00:22:08.180 --> 00:22:09.920 align:middle line:90%
There\'s a lot of--
00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:12.312 align:middle line:90%
She used to hang upside down.
00:22:12.312 --> 00:22:13.562 align:middle line:90%
Till you went to throw up.
00:22:13.562 --> 00:22:16.050 align:middle line:90%
00:22:16.050 --> 00:22:17.380 align:middle line:90%
It was very regimented.
00:22:17.380 --> 00:22:19.950 align:middle line:84%
For five minutes, you did this,
for five minutes that,
00:22:19.950 --> 00:22:21.580 align:middle line:90%
two minutes this.
00:22:21.580 --> 00:22:23.930 align:middle line:84%
It was seven days a week from
7:30 in the morning
00:22:23.930 --> 00:22:25.850 align:middle line:90%
until 9:30 at night.
00:22:25.850 --> 00:22:27.100 align:middle line:84%
The day was totally
regimented.
00:22:27.100 --> 00:22:30.650 align:middle line:90%
00:22:30.650 --> 00:22:35.040 align:middle line:84%
We had 50 volunteers a week in
order to make it go smooth.
00:22:35.040 --> 00:22:36.336 align:middle line:90%
I\'m trying to take--
00:22:36.336 --> 00:22:38.070 align:middle line:84%
It was in the local paper,
the article that I read.
00:22:38.070 --> 00:22:42.440 align:middle line:90%
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:44.470 align:middle line:84%
We read in the paper
that [? Joanne ?]
00:22:44.470 --> 00:22:46.720 align:middle line:90%
Rudy needed help.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:50.140 align:middle line:90%
So I came here.
00:22:50.140 --> 00:22:54.110 align:middle line:84%
And I helped her about an hour
and a half a day, one day a
00:22:54.110 --> 00:22:56.720 align:middle line:90%
week for about two years.
00:22:56.720 --> 00:22:59.730 align:middle line:84%
It was such an array of people
from young to old.
00:22:59.730 --> 00:23:01.770 align:middle line:84%
And everybody did
what they could.
00:23:01.770 --> 00:23:05.930 align:middle line:84%
It was just a great
thing to see how
00:23:05.930 --> 00:23:07.090 align:middle line:90%
something like this work.
00:23:07.090 --> 00:23:09.520 align:middle line:84%
And the community
came together.
00:23:09.520 --> 00:23:13.320 align:middle line:84%
We started when she was
2 and 1/2 years old.
00:23:13.320 --> 00:23:18.100 align:middle line:84%
And she was walking before
she was 3 and 1/2.
00:23:18.100 --> 00:23:21.520 align:middle line:84%
When Cory first was walking,
it was like
00:23:21.520 --> 00:23:22.880 align:middle line:90%
it spread like wildfire.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:26.130 align:middle line:84%
And one of the girls who
patterned happened to be in
00:23:26.130 --> 00:23:26.890 align:middle line:90%
the hospital.
00:23:26.890 --> 00:23:28.440 align:middle line:84%
And the others all ran
to the hospital.
00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:29.330 align:middle line:90%
Cory\'s walking.
00:23:29.330 --> 00:23:30.640 align:middle line:90%
Cory\'s walking.
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:33.100 align:middle line:90%
And they\'re all crying.
00:23:33.100 --> 00:23:34.760 align:middle line:84%
The community was
very involved.
00:23:34.760 --> 00:23:37.650 align:middle line:90%
00:23:37.650 --> 00:23:41.610 align:middle line:84%
Once I started school, the bus
stop was down at the local
00:23:41.610 --> 00:23:42.040 align:middle line:90%
high school.
00:23:42.040 --> 00:23:43.220 align:middle line:90%
And I used to have to walk.
00:23:43.220 --> 00:23:45.820 align:middle line:84%
It was probably a block and a
half or two blocks to the
00:23:45.820 --> 00:23:47.430 align:middle line:90%
school to get the bus.
00:23:47.430 --> 00:23:50.680 align:middle line:84%
And on the way home at the end
of the day, I would just stop
00:23:50.680 --> 00:23:54.505 align:middle line:84%
off at my neighbor\'s house, and
called her Mama Linda, and
00:23:54.505 --> 00:23:57.010 align:middle line:84%
would have dinner with them
most the time, I think.
00:23:57.010 --> 00:23:58.110 align:middle line:84%
Because there was so
much going on up
00:23:58.110 --> 00:23:59.140 align:middle line:90%
at my parents\' house.
00:23:59.140 --> 00:24:01.040 align:middle line:84%
And they were really focused
on helping Cory.
00:24:01.040 --> 00:24:04.180 align:middle line:90%
00:24:04.180 --> 00:24:06.370 align:middle line:90%
I had five children.
00:24:06.370 --> 00:24:12.120 align:middle line:84%
And it was very hard
on them also.
00:24:12.120 --> 00:24:15.720 align:middle line:84%
I definitely, I think, wanted
to be more normal
00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:16.900 align:middle line:90%
when I was in school.
00:24:16.900 --> 00:24:20.420 align:middle line:84%
We had a lot of chores and
weren\'t allowed to go places
00:24:20.420 --> 00:24:21.380 align:middle line:90%
and have fun.
00:24:21.380 --> 00:24:25.150 align:middle line:84%
While we patterned or did any of
that, Cory was number one.
00:24:25.150 --> 00:24:29.470 align:middle line:84%
And I\'m sure the other children,
it was hard on them.
00:24:29.470 --> 00:24:33.776 align:middle line:84%
Cory got a lot of attention
because she was handicap.
00:24:33.776 --> 00:24:40.220 align:middle line:84%
And it seemed like Lindy came
along five years after me.
00:24:40.220 --> 00:24:42.390 align:middle line:84%
And they hadn\'t had a child
around for a while.
00:24:42.390 --> 00:24:44.480 align:middle line:90%
And Lindy was the baby.
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:45.535 align:middle line:90%
They wanted my attention.
00:24:45.535 --> 00:24:46.400 align:middle line:90%
It was always, no.
00:24:46.400 --> 00:24:47.560 align:middle line:90%
Wait.
00:24:47.560 --> 00:24:49.590 align:middle line:90%
No, you have to wait.
00:24:49.590 --> 00:24:52.680 align:middle line:84%
I remember my parents being
really strict when I was
00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:54.110 align:middle line:90%
growing up.
00:24:54.110 --> 00:24:57.150 align:middle line:84%
So I\'m not sure what
my specialness was.
00:24:57.150 --> 00:25:02.770 align:middle line:90%
00:25:02.770 --> 00:25:08.350 align:middle line:84%
I began to understand that the
children, their siblings
00:25:08.350 --> 00:25:10.660 align:middle line:84%
needed some attention
and they needed
00:25:10.660 --> 00:25:12.150 align:middle line:90%
some questions answered.
00:25:12.150 --> 00:25:17.890 align:middle line:84%
And they needed to understand
why their sibling
00:25:17.890 --> 00:25:19.140 align:middle line:90%
was like they were.
00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:21.480 align:middle line:90%
00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:26.640 align:middle line:84%
Tracy, she was very open and
honest about her feelings
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:31.890 align:middle line:84%
about the sister that had so
many needs and so many demands
00:25:31.890 --> 00:25:33.140 align:middle line:90%
on the family.
00:25:33.140 --> 00:25:36.566 align:middle line:90%
00:25:36.566 --> 00:25:41.080 align:middle line:84%
And she had said, Tracy, at I
think seven years old, when
00:25:41.080 --> 00:25:44.200 align:middle line:84%
Jackie said, but Tracy, didn\'t
you ever tell your mom how you
00:25:44.200 --> 00:25:45.810 align:middle line:90%
really feel?
00:25:45.810 --> 00:25:50.850 align:middle line:90%
And Tracy said, I can\'t.
00:25:50.850 --> 00:25:51.830 align:middle line:90%
I couldn\'t tell my mom.
00:25:51.830 --> 00:25:54.010 align:middle line:84%
She\'s got too much
on her plate.
00:25:54.010 --> 00:25:57.060 align:middle line:90%
00:25:57.060 --> 00:25:58.310 align:middle line:90%
So I never knew.
00:25:58.310 --> 00:26:07.870 align:middle line:90%
00:26:07.870 --> 00:26:09.700 align:middle line:90%
This is the dining room.
00:26:09.700 --> 00:26:12.060 align:middle line:84%
We used to have our Bible
studies in here.
00:26:12.060 --> 00:26:16.270 align:middle line:90%
00:26:16.270 --> 00:26:19.310 align:middle line:90%
Well, this is the kitchen.
00:26:19.310 --> 00:26:22.810 align:middle line:90%
Warren, he would sit here.
00:26:22.810 --> 00:26:26.950 align:middle line:84%
When the children had the high
chairs here, he would sit here
00:26:26.950 --> 00:26:30.660 align:middle line:84%
and watch the kids, and
take care of them.
00:26:30.660 --> 00:26:33.460 align:middle line:84%
I remember be younger,
and Warren did walk.
00:26:33.460 --> 00:26:35.170 align:middle line:84%
And he would get
up on his own.
00:26:35.170 --> 00:26:37.740 align:middle line:84%
And he would get himself bathed
on his own and dressed
00:26:37.740 --> 00:26:38.250 align:middle line:90%
on his own.
00:26:38.250 --> 00:26:40.920 align:middle line:84%
And he would find his way using
his arm strength and
00:26:40.920 --> 00:26:43.050 align:middle line:84%
whatnot to get downstairs
at breakfast.
00:26:43.050 --> 00:26:44.996 align:middle line:90%
Because his room was not here.
00:26:44.996 --> 00:26:47.550 align:middle line:90%
His room was upstairs.
00:26:47.550 --> 00:26:48.900 align:middle line:90%
So walk up the stairs?
00:26:48.900 --> 00:26:52.030 align:middle line:84%
He was able to get himself
up and down the stairs.
00:26:52.030 --> 00:26:52.595 align:middle line:90%
Yes, he was.
00:26:52.595 --> 00:26:54.230 align:middle line:90%
He was able to do that.
00:26:54.230 --> 00:26:57.930 align:middle line:84%
And that was with the help
of Mother E.M. Boyce.
00:26:57.930 --> 00:27:02.390 align:middle line:90%
She helped me walk.
00:27:02.390 --> 00:27:03.866 align:middle line:90%
She helped you walk?
00:27:03.866 --> 00:27:05.840 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:27:05.840 --> 00:27:07.090 align:middle line:90%
How did she help you walk?
00:27:07.090 --> 00:27:11.710 align:middle line:90%
00:27:11.710 --> 00:27:14.960 align:middle line:90%
She\'d tell me, don\'t help him.
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:15.540 align:middle line:90%
Don\'t help him.
00:27:15.540 --> 00:27:17.080 align:middle line:90%
She said, no.
00:27:17.080 --> 00:27:18.870 align:middle line:90%
You do it.
00:27:18.870 --> 00:27:20.600 align:middle line:90%
She pressured him to do it.
00:27:20.600 --> 00:27:22.840 align:middle line:84%
And he always thanked
her for that.
00:27:22.840 --> 00:27:24.429 align:middle line:90%
But you liked that, because--
00:27:24.429 --> 00:27:25.788 align:middle line:90%
No, I didn\'t like it.
00:27:25.788 --> 00:27:26.694 align:middle line:90%
You didn\'t like it?
00:27:26.694 --> 00:27:27.600 align:middle line:90%
No.
00:27:27.600 --> 00:27:30.300 align:middle line:90%
I said it\'s hard on me.
00:27:30.300 --> 00:27:31.672 align:middle line:90%
They were hard on me.
00:27:31.672 --> 00:27:32.616 align:middle line:90%
They\'re hard on you?
00:27:32.616 --> 00:27:33.560 align:middle line:90%
Too hard on you?
00:27:33.560 --> 00:27:35.448 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:27:35.448 --> 00:27:38.572 align:middle line:84%
How I got up here was that
I was homeless in
00:27:38.572 --> 00:27:40.930 align:middle line:90%
New York for a minute.
00:27:40.930 --> 00:27:43.180 align:middle line:84%
Frank said, yo, I
got some rooms.
00:27:43.180 --> 00:27:45.290 align:middle line:90%
And I said, no problem.
00:27:45.290 --> 00:27:47.120 align:middle line:90%
So we hooked up together.
00:27:47.120 --> 00:27:49.480 align:middle line:84%
And that\'s when I first
met Warren.
00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:52.710 align:middle line:84%
That was in April
1 of this year.
00:27:52.710 --> 00:27:56.320 align:middle line:90%
And we hit it off immediately.
00:27:56.320 --> 00:27:59.420 align:middle line:84%
I think that one of the things
that happens just in life is
00:27:59.420 --> 00:28:00.340 align:middle line:90%
people age.
00:28:00.340 --> 00:28:05.550 align:middle line:84%
And as you get older, your needs
are going to increase.
00:28:05.550 --> 00:28:09.430 align:middle line:84%
And over the last few years,
Warren\'s strength in his upper
00:28:09.430 --> 00:28:12.570 align:middle line:84%
arms is not what
it used to be.
00:28:12.570 --> 00:28:16.410 align:middle line:84%
He has personal care aides that
come into the house and
00:28:16.410 --> 00:28:19.320 align:middle line:90%
take care of him.
00:28:19.320 --> 00:28:23.420 align:middle line:84%
Usually I feed him,
make his food.
00:28:23.420 --> 00:28:24.562 align:middle line:90%
I get him up.
00:28:24.562 --> 00:28:30.160 align:middle line:84%
I get all the items prepared
for his shower.
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:34.200 align:middle line:84%
Cleaning his room, his
bathroom, make sure
00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:35.730 align:middle line:90%
everything is clean.
00:28:35.730 --> 00:28:36.785 align:middle line:90%
We\'ll sit in the living room.
00:28:36.785 --> 00:28:37.560 align:middle line:90%
We\'ll talk.
00:28:37.560 --> 00:28:39.210 align:middle line:90%
He\'ll watch TV.
00:28:39.210 --> 00:28:40.830 align:middle line:90%
Channel seven, always.
00:28:40.830 --> 00:28:42.830 align:middle line:84%
He loved to watch
channel seven--
00:28:42.830 --> 00:28:45.180 align:middle line:90%
Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune.
00:28:45.180 --> 00:28:50.466 align:middle line:84%
Also we shop for him, whatever
he need during the week.
00:28:50.466 --> 00:28:56.694 align:middle line:90%
[PHONE RINGING]
00:28:56.694 --> 00:29:00.050 align:middle line:90%
I\'m so sorry.
00:29:00.050 --> 00:29:01.510 align:middle line:90%
Hello?
00:29:01.510 --> 00:29:03.020 align:middle line:90%
Hello?
00:29:03.020 --> 00:29:07.270 align:middle line:90%
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
00:29:07.270 --> 00:29:08.730 align:middle line:90%
Each person is an individual.
00:29:08.730 --> 00:29:11.220 align:middle line:84%
And they have the right to
have the same kind of
00:29:11.220 --> 00:29:13.330 align:middle line:90%
individual life that we have.
00:29:13.330 --> 00:29:18.100 align:middle line:84%
And they can if we assist
them with that.
00:29:18.100 --> 00:29:21.020 align:middle line:84%
The issue is how independent
they can be within their
00:29:21.020 --> 00:29:25.060 align:middle line:84%
limits of safety and getting
what they need to be OK.
00:29:25.060 --> 00:29:29.260 align:middle line:90%
00:29:29.260 --> 00:29:31.640 align:middle line:84%
Part of the challenge for their
relationship is the fact
00:29:31.640 --> 00:29:32.180 align:middle line:90%
that he\'s older.
00:29:32.180 --> 00:29:34.090 align:middle line:90%
He\'s frail.
00:29:34.090 --> 00:29:35.440 align:middle line:84%
That\'s, I think, the
biggest challenge.
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:38.180 align:middle line:90%
00:29:38.180 --> 00:29:41.401 align:middle line:84%
Did you ever want
to get married?
00:29:41.401 --> 00:29:45.688 align:middle line:90%
Well, that\'s up to her mom.
00:29:45.688 --> 00:29:47.672 align:middle line:90%
To her mom.
00:29:47.672 --> 00:29:49.752 align:middle line:90%
It\'s up to her mom.
00:29:49.752 --> 00:29:50.705 align:middle line:90%
It\'s up to her mom?
00:29:50.705 --> 00:29:51.675 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:29:51.675 --> 00:29:55.665 align:middle line:90%
Would you want to get married?
00:29:55.665 --> 00:29:57.990 align:middle line:90%
You.
00:29:57.990 --> 00:29:59.240 align:middle line:90%
I\'m thinking.
00:29:59.240 --> 00:30:10.108 align:middle line:90%
00:30:10.108 --> 00:30:13.430 align:middle line:84%
Who\'s going to take
care of me?
00:30:13.430 --> 00:30:21.071 align:middle line:90%
00:30:21.071 --> 00:30:22.780 align:middle line:90%
I fall down.
00:30:22.780 --> 00:30:24.520 align:middle line:90%
Somebody had to pick me up.
00:30:24.520 --> 00:30:33.460 align:middle line:90%
00:30:33.460 --> 00:30:38.200 align:middle line:90%
Cory\'s not that strong.
00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:40.246 align:middle line:90%
Say it again.
00:30:40.246 --> 00:30:44.452 align:middle line:84%
Cory\'s not that strong,
to pick me up.
00:30:44.452 --> 00:30:47.050 align:middle line:90%
00:30:47.050 --> 00:30:49.656 align:middle line:90%
She\'s not that strong.
00:30:49.656 --> 00:30:50.570 align:middle line:90%
Strong.
00:30:50.570 --> 00:30:52.180 align:middle line:84%
Cory\'s not that strong
to pick you up?
00:30:52.180 --> 00:30:53.430 align:middle line:90%
No.
00:30:53.430 --> 00:30:57.696 align:middle line:90%
00:30:57.696 --> 00:30:58.648 align:middle line:84%
Either that or they
are so hungry.
00:30:58.648 --> 00:31:02.088 align:middle line:84%
They want to make sure we\'re
working at top capacity.
00:31:02.088 --> 00:31:08.650 align:middle line:90%
00:31:08.650 --> 00:31:11.740 align:middle line:84%
My friend used to play with
Cory\'s sister, used to play
00:31:11.740 --> 00:31:13.340 align:middle line:84%
with Lindsay out here
while I was in the
00:31:13.340 --> 00:31:17.470 align:middle line:90%
house patterning Cory.
00:31:17.470 --> 00:31:19.220 align:middle line:84%
And they went to different
schools.
00:31:19.220 --> 00:31:21.530 align:middle line:90%
And later on, they met.
00:31:21.530 --> 00:31:25.130 align:middle line:90%
And they got married.
00:31:25.130 --> 00:31:29.555 align:middle line:84%
Even before I got engaged two
years ago, Cory would always
00:31:29.555 --> 00:31:30.480 align:middle line:90%
be pointing to her finger.
00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:31.610 align:middle line:90%
And she wanted to get married.
00:31:31.610 --> 00:31:35.490 align:middle line:84%
And I think a lot of people have
mixed feelings on that.
00:31:35.490 --> 00:31:40.360 align:middle line:90%
00:31:40.360 --> 00:31:43.880 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t think Cory wanted
to go any further
00:31:43.880 --> 00:31:44.690 align:middle line:90%
than they\'re together.
00:31:44.690 --> 00:31:45.690 align:middle line:90%
They take care of each other.
00:31:45.690 --> 00:31:46.650 align:middle line:90%
They go out.
00:31:46.650 --> 00:31:47.250 align:middle line:90%
They talk.
00:31:47.250 --> 00:31:52.550 align:middle line:84%
And that\'s all she\'s
really said to me.
00:31:52.550 --> 00:31:56.800 align:middle line:84%
I know she says she\'d like to
get married at some point.
00:31:56.800 --> 00:32:02.150 align:middle line:84%
But I don\'t see, really, where
that would happen.
00:32:02.150 --> 00:32:04.820 align:middle line:84%
They have to be at a certain
level where they could
00:32:04.820 --> 00:32:08.930 align:middle line:84%
actually take care of each
other with some help.
00:32:08.930 --> 00:32:11.940 align:middle line:84%
And we\'re not excluding that
it couldn\'t happen.
00:32:11.940 --> 00:32:16.360 align:middle line:84%
But at this time, it just
doesn\'t seem that it\'s
00:32:16.360 --> 00:32:18.000 align:middle line:90%
appropriate at this time.
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:23.070 align:middle line:84%
She has problems accepting that
she and Warren might not
00:32:23.070 --> 00:32:26.770 align:middle line:84%
get married, which is what she
wants more than anything.
00:32:26.770 --> 00:32:28.780 align:middle line:84%
And she\'s explained
that to me.
00:32:28.780 --> 00:32:31.990 align:middle line:90%
And she was very upset.
00:32:31.990 --> 00:32:33.740 align:middle line:84%
And I\'m just kind
of humoring her.
00:32:33.740 --> 00:32:35.660 align:middle line:84%
Well, you know, why
not get married?
00:32:35.660 --> 00:32:36.430 align:middle line:90%
And she said, can\'t.
00:32:36.430 --> 00:32:37.420 align:middle line:90%
Have problem.
00:32:37.420 --> 00:32:41.250 align:middle line:84%
And it was pretty heartbreaking
that she\'s aware
00:32:41.250 --> 00:32:43.550 align:middle line:84%
of what you can do and
what she can\'t do.
00:32:43.550 --> 00:32:48.020 align:middle line:84%
I think he feels the cost
of getting married.
00:32:48.020 --> 00:32:51.530 align:middle line:90%
If I marry Cory, what then?
00:32:51.530 --> 00:32:54.470 align:middle line:90%
00:32:54.470 --> 00:32:56.620 align:middle line:84%
He considers very much
the fact that he\'s
00:32:56.620 --> 00:32:59.076 align:middle line:90%
already in his 80s.
00:32:59.076 --> 00:33:04.410 align:middle line:90%
[CHEERING]
00:33:04.410 --> 00:33:04.760 align:middle line:90%
[SINGING]
00:33:04.760 --> 00:33:09.940 align:middle line:90%
Happy birthday to you.
00:33:09.940 --> 00:33:16.120 align:middle line:90%
Happy birthday, dear Warren.
00:33:16.120 --> 00:33:19.536 align:middle line:90%
Happy birthday to you.
00:33:19.536 --> 00:33:24.904 align:middle line:90%
00:33:24.904 --> 00:33:26.154 align:middle line:90%
Happy birthday.
00:33:26.154 --> 00:33:29.320 align:middle line:90%
00:33:29.320 --> 00:33:32.420 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t want Warren to be Cory\'s
only world, or vice
00:33:32.420 --> 00:33:35.770 align:middle line:84%
versa, because if something
should ever happen to either
00:33:35.770 --> 00:33:38.340 align:middle line:84%
of them, they would
be devastated.
00:33:38.340 --> 00:33:39.850 align:middle line:90%
Yes, Warren is your friend.
00:33:39.850 --> 00:33:41.000 align:middle line:90%
And you do things with Warren.
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:44.760 align:middle line:90%
But there\'s other people.
00:33:44.760 --> 00:33:46.170 align:middle line:90%
Hey, look at this necklace.
00:33:46.170 --> 00:33:48.520 align:middle line:90%
Where did you get that?
00:33:48.520 --> 00:33:49.940 align:middle line:90%
Cory gave me that.
00:33:49.940 --> 00:33:50.940 align:middle line:90%
Cory did?
00:33:50.940 --> 00:33:52.665 align:middle line:90%
Ah, that\'s sweet.
00:33:52.665 --> 00:33:55.555 align:middle line:90%
00:33:55.555 --> 00:33:57.520 align:middle line:90%
Cory gave me everything.
00:33:57.520 --> 00:33:58.550 align:middle line:90%
What?
00:33:58.550 --> 00:34:00.030 align:middle line:90%
And the watch, too?
00:34:00.030 --> 00:34:01.107 align:middle line:90%
Oh, boy.
00:34:01.107 --> 00:34:03.095 align:middle line:90%
And the ring, too.
00:34:03.095 --> 00:34:04.345 align:middle line:90%
She loves you.
00:34:04.345 --> 00:34:06.580 align:middle line:90%
00:34:06.580 --> 00:34:09.120 align:middle line:84%
She\'s seen other people
be sick and die.
00:34:09.120 --> 00:34:11.400 align:middle line:90%
She\'s had her grandma die.
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:14.870 align:middle line:90%
She\'s had her grandpa die.
00:34:14.870 --> 00:34:19.020 align:middle line:84%
She gets very devastated when
these things happen and dwells
00:34:19.020 --> 00:34:20.960 align:middle line:84%
on them for a long
period of time.
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:24.040 align:middle line:90%
00:34:24.040 --> 00:34:26.409 align:middle line:90%
Grandma cried.
00:34:26.409 --> 00:34:29.104 align:middle line:90%
We all did.
00:34:29.104 --> 00:34:32.631 align:middle line:90%
It hurt you.
00:34:32.631 --> 00:34:33.881 align:middle line:90%
It\'s OK.
00:34:33.881 --> 00:34:40.273 align:middle line:90%
00:34:40.273 --> 00:34:41.870 align:middle line:90%
Oh, at the wedding.
00:34:41.870 --> 00:34:43.318 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:34:43.318 --> 00:34:44.170 align:middle line:90%
It\'s all right, Cory.
00:34:44.170 --> 00:34:45.420 align:middle line:90%
It\'d OK, Cory.
00:34:45.420 --> 00:34:50.014 align:middle line:90%
00:34:50.014 --> 00:34:52.420 align:middle line:90%
It\'s OK.
00:34:52.420 --> 00:34:53.600 align:middle line:90%
I know you love her.
00:34:53.600 --> 00:34:54.460 align:middle line:90%
I know.
00:34:54.460 --> 00:34:55.710 align:middle line:90%
I know.
00:34:55.710 --> 00:35:11.520 align:middle line:90%
00:35:11.520 --> 00:35:11.950 align:middle line:90%
The flowers.
00:35:11.950 --> 00:35:14.330 align:middle line:84%
You want to bring
flowers to her?
00:35:14.330 --> 00:35:15.680 align:middle line:90%
Later, OK?
00:35:15.680 --> 00:35:16.990 align:middle line:90%
We\'ll go get flowers.
00:35:16.990 --> 00:35:33.010 align:middle line:90%
00:35:33.010 --> 00:35:34.405 align:middle line:84%
You only have one
grandma left.
00:35:34.405 --> 00:35:42.679 align:middle line:90%
00:35:42.679 --> 00:35:44.158 align:middle line:90%
I know it hurts you.
00:35:44.158 --> 00:35:49.910 align:middle line:90%
00:35:49.910 --> 00:35:51.160 align:middle line:90%
Her house is no more.
00:35:51.160 --> 00:36:08.860 align:middle line:90%
00:36:08.860 --> 00:36:11.680 align:middle line:84%
Sometimes it gets a little
rough going.
00:36:11.680 --> 00:36:13.785 align:middle line:90%
But that\'s what it does.
00:36:13.785 --> 00:36:15.770 align:middle line:84%
I\'m sure she\'s got what
it takes to get
00:36:15.770 --> 00:36:18.530 align:middle line:90%
through whatever happens.
00:36:18.530 --> 00:36:19.780 align:middle line:84%
She\'s been through
enough right now.
00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:22.230 align:middle line:84%
She has probably more experience
of getting through
00:36:22.230 --> 00:36:24.520 align:middle line:84%
things and struggling,
maybe, than I have.
00:36:24.520 --> 00:36:36.130 align:middle line:90%
00:36:36.130 --> 00:36:38.600 align:middle line:84%
And when you think about
Warren\'s past and his history
00:36:38.600 --> 00:36:41.100 align:middle line:84%
and his family, and you see
how he\'s overcome and he\'s
00:36:41.100 --> 00:36:44.210 align:middle line:84%
happy and he\'s grateful, it
really makes you think that
00:36:44.210 --> 00:36:47.520 align:middle line:84%
you should be happy
for what you have.
00:36:47.520 --> 00:36:49.310 align:middle line:84%
And he\'s done the best
with what he\'s had.
00:36:49.310 --> 00:36:50.560 align:middle line:90%
And he hasn\'t had a lot.
00:36:50.560 --> 00:36:54.821 align:middle line:90%
00:36:54.821 --> 00:36:57.070 align:middle line:84%
I think Cory still thinks she\'s
going to get married.
00:36:57.070 --> 00:37:00.520 align:middle line:84%
And she still thinks she
might have a baby--
00:37:00.520 --> 00:37:01.670 align:middle line:90%
which is amazing.
00:37:01.670 --> 00:37:05.740 align:middle line:84%
Because how can she stay so
positive after every day of
00:37:05.740 --> 00:37:06.420 align:middle line:90%
being so frustrated?
00:37:06.420 --> 00:37:08.570 align:middle line:84%
She has all these things
up against her.
00:37:08.570 --> 00:37:12.050 align:middle line:84%
And she just keeps plowing
through every day thinking,
00:37:12.050 --> 00:37:13.300 align:middle line:84%
I\'m going to do all
these things.
00:37:13.300 --> 00:37:18.890 align:middle line:90%
00:37:18.890 --> 00:37:21.280 align:middle line:84%
So I think they should enjoy
every second that they have
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:24.060 align:middle line:84%
and be given every opportunity
to be together and be happy.
00:37:24.060 --> 00:37:29.610 align:middle line:90%
00:37:29.610 --> 00:37:31.180 align:middle line:90%
It\'s, I\'m here today.
00:37:31.180 --> 00:37:32.170 align:middle line:90%
Warren\'s here today.
00:37:32.170 --> 00:37:33.420 align:middle line:90%
And I\'m happy.
00:37:33.420 --> 00:37:38.320 align:middle line:90%
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:40.290 align:middle line:84%
It makes you wonder what
draws people together.
00:37:40.290 --> 00:37:50.110 align:middle line:90%
00:37:50.110 --> 00:37:51.360 align:middle line:90%
Everything has life.
00:37:51.360 --> 00:37:57.990 align:middle line:90%
00:37:57.990 --> 00:38:00.674 align:middle line:90%
I watch the trees.
00:38:00.674 --> 00:38:06.506 align:middle line:84%
The trees go to sleep
in winter.
00:38:06.506 --> 00:38:10.230 align:middle line:90%
00:38:10.230 --> 00:38:12.890 align:middle line:90%
In summer, they\'re bright.
00:38:12.890 --> 00:38:14.140 align:middle line:90%
They wake up.
00:38:14.140 --> 00:38:18.620 align:middle line:90%
00:38:18.620 --> 00:38:22.690 align:middle line:90%
I watch nature.
00:38:22.690 --> 00:38:28.790 align:middle line:84%
There are animals that
lie down in winter.
00:38:28.790 --> 00:38:31.690 align:middle line:90%
They go to sleep in winter.
00:38:31.690 --> 00:38:38.760 align:middle line:90%
And they wake up in spring.
00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:40.340 align:middle line:90%
Everything has life--
00:38:40.340 --> 00:38:44.338 align:middle line:90%
you, me, trees, people.
00:38:44.338 --> 00:38:50.640 align:middle line:90%
00:38:50.640 --> 00:38:56.790 align:middle line:84%
I say to myself, men
don\'t make that.
00:38:56.790 --> 00:38:58.040 align:middle line:90%
Men don\'t make that.
00:38:58.040 --> 00:39:05.020 align:middle line:90%
00:39:05.020 --> 00:39:06.270 align:middle line:90%
God made that.
00:39:06.270 --> 00:39:38.820 align:middle line:90%
00:39:38.820 --> 00:40:40.014 align:middle line:90%
[SINGING]
00:40:40.014 --> 00:40:43.156 align:middle line:90%
00:40:43.156 --> 00:41:24.270 align:middle line:90%
[MUSIC PLAYING]
00:41:24.270 --> 00:41:25.859 align:middle line:90%
Distributor: The Fanlight Collection
Length: 41 minutes
Date: 2010
Genre: Expository
Language: English
Grade: 9-12, College, Adult
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
Interactive Transcript: Available
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